Lady Hellbender and Peter Quill's Perilous Adventure

Peter was a bit of a simple man.

He owned a farm, and he did his best to keep it up, but it was more like an indulgence than a real investment. His family had been farmers for generations, but Peter didn't really have the heart for it. He'd spent more time in school than he'd spent taking care of his own land, which was overrun with weeds and overgrown bushes. Eventually, he decided to sell off most of the parcels, keeping just a few acres for himself and selling the rest to a local developer. He made some money from it, but not enough to retire on, so he kept farming regardless of his lack of interest.

It wasn't that he didn't like animals. He loved the cows, especially their big floppy udders. He loved how they chewed their cud and looked at him with those big eyes when he milked them, letting him know they understood what was happening.

But these days he most enjoyed his interactions with his horse. It was a beautiful animal - jet black, glossy as could be - and while he knew there were other horses who were faster and more useful as workhorses than this one, Peter owned only this one horse. And even though it was sort of lazy, Peter liked riding it around the farm's perimeter every day and looking out across his farms at all the territory that was no longer under his control. Sometimes there was wildlife out there in the brush - possums and raccoons mostly - but sometimes there were signs of humans too: illegal campfires set in the woods or rusted beer cans left behind from teenagers' parties.

Peter also enjoyed interacting with others when they came by to visit or buy produce from him at market. He enjoyed his chats with Mrs Haskins about her family's new baby boy or Mr Higgins about how well things were doing at the hardware store these days - mostly so that he could tell them about how well things were going with him too, because although they were always happy to listen to him talk about himself when they came by to visit or purchase something from him at market, it seemed like most people wanted to hear about things other than themselves these days.

Mrs Haskins' new baby boy was named Joely after both of her grandfathers - Joseph and Lawrence - which Peter thought was a little bit burdensome for such a small child to have to live up to. But then again, perhaps that would make it easier for him too! And sometimes people liked giving their children unique names because they thought that would make life interesting for them later on down the road; take Magnus Hellbender for example - such an unusual name!

And then again sometimes people gave their children strange names because they thought it would make them stand out from certain groups in society; Peter recalled an old astronomy professor who had once told him about an alien race whose members all had names like this before she explained why she couldn't recommend any of those names as good choices if you were thinking about naming your own children! But Magnus Hellbender? What kind of name is that? That's exactly what everyone would ask after you told them your name, which is precisely why Magnus Hellbender had never bothered telling anyone else what his name actually was! Hellbender? What kind of name is that? You'd think someone would give their kid a normal name instead! And besides - what kind of parent would do something so foolish as name their child after some kind of disgusting amphibian?

But Peter didn't judge people for their unusual names or for anything else about them either; not anymore anyway after he learned about Mrs Haskins' new baby boy's middle name being Lawrence! It took all kinds to make up this world and its people; maybe some day someone would find out that Peter's full name had been Pee-Wee! Who knows how many times his parents considered giving him that silly nickname before settling on something different? And who cares anyway? Not Peter!