The Mermaid in the Krusty Krab

I had to admit, it was a nice day for the Krusty Krab. The sun was shining, and the ocean was a lovely shade of blue. There were no clouds in the sky as far as the eye could see. It was truly a beautiful day.

I was pulling my shift at the front counter of the Krusty Krab. It wasn't usually my job, but that's on account of I'm an employee of many talents. I've been known to clean tables, wipe down toilets, make salads and sandwiches, and even host birthday parties for small children. But today, I just happened to be a cashier. They had me off of bathroom duty since I did so good last time. Man, that party went pretty smoothly! I think this is going to be fun!

It didn't take long before the first customer came in. He looked like an old man with a cane, probably retired from some office job or something. His hair was white and very thin, and his skin was wrinkled with age. He wore a loose fitting suit with a tie that would probably choke him if he tried to wear it any tighter than it already was around his neck.

"Good morning sir," I said politely as he approached the register. "How are you today?"

"Terrible." He grunted through gritted teeth as he reached into his suit pocket for his wallet. "It seems every day gets worse and worse for me."

"Oh? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not unless you can bring me back ten years." He paused for a moment, looking at the floor sadly before returning his gaze to me. "Or at least five." He said with a sigh before returning his wallet back into his pocket.

He placed his order quickly and paid with exact change. When he left the restaurant, I felt sorry for him because while all around him looked so nice and sunny, he seemed to be sadder than anyone else around him.

The next customer arrived a few minutes after Mr Retirement left: An overweight man who smelled like bacon grease almost as much as he reeked of sweat and cigarette smoke; an unclean smell that seemed to seep from every pore on his body and clothes alike. He wore stained overalls over what looked like several t-shirts layered on top of one another, stained past recognition by perhaps more sweat than washing detergent could ever cleanse from them; leaving only hints of their original colors where they hadn't turned brown or yellow from repeated exposure to whatever liquid they'd spent most of their lives absorbing between their owner's body and the world he lived in. His skin was dark brown, darkened by the sun and soothed by water many times over by what little moisture it held within its cells; making it hard to guess if he was actually aging at all or if he might have been one of those seemingly immortal creatures that we occasionally find living deep in caves beneath our oceans or deep within our forests - surviving off of bats or insects like some sort of human batman (or batwoman?).

But despite all these things that made him stand out from everyone else around him... there was one thing about him that stood out even more than all of those things put together: A beard without an inch shaved off of it anywhere on his face or head, not even on top which only added to how wild and unruly it looked - spiking outward in every direction like an underwater wave that rose up higher than any other wave in existence before crashing down onto its prey like a hammer dropped from heaven itself - drowning all below it until they're forced to rise up once again whenever this beast reared its ugly head above water during one of its occasional breaks between feeding frenzies... And speaking of feeding frenzies... right now - right this very moment - this beast had just walked into the Krusty Krab! How exciting! Maybe they'll buy something! Maybe they'll even eat here! It's been so long since we've had someone eat here who wasn't either sick or old! Maybe this'll get us some new customers! Or maybe this guy will just buy something cheap so he doesn't have to go outside again after coming in here... maybe he hates sunlight as much as Mr Retirement does! Then again... maybe Mr Retirement hates sunlight because this guy scares away all potential customers by scaring them away with his disgusting appearance! But how does Mr Retirement know about this guy in the first place? Couldn't be too scared of him if he still goes outside every day like always... but then again... *sigh* Guess we'll never know why people do what they do unless we ask them ourselves... Let's find out shall we?