Willie Radford's Martian Odyssey

Willie sat in the infirmary, his head in his hands. He had been there for what seemed like days, but was probably not even twelve hours. All he could think about was how he got here.

"Willie, you need to get up."

He looked up at the nurse and mumbled under his breath, "I'm tired."

"Rest later, we have to talk." The nurse turned and Willie reluctantly followed her. She led him down a few hallways before entering a small room. It was rectangular with a table and two chairs on each side of it. There was a window along one side of the room which looked out into space, though Willie couldn't see much through it.

The nurse sat down and motioned for Willie to sit across from him. "So you know why you're here don't you?" She asked. He looked at her blankly and sighed heavily. "You're not an idiot Willie, no one just falls off the ship unless they bring it upon themselves."

"I didn't mean it!" He yelled, slamming his fist onto the table. "I swear I didn't!" Tears were streaming down his face as he continued to speak, "It was an accident! Something happened when I got home that night and I just snapped! I don't know what happened but I snapped and when I woke up the next day... all of this was gone." His voice cracked as he gestured towards himself with both arms. "Everything was gone." The nurse didn't say anything, she just stared at him until he stopped talking. "It's not fair," he whispered hoarsely as sobs wracked his body again, "I don't want to be this way anymore."

She sighed heavily and leaned back in her chair looking at him thoughtfully for several minutes. When she finally spoke it was barely above a whisper, "Do you want to be fixed?" Willie's eyes shot up and studied her face carefully. She seemed worried but stern, like she wasn't sure if saying this would make things better or worse for him. After several moments of silence she continued, "If you're interested in being fixed... we can do that for you." He shook his head vigorously but she cut him off before he could speak. "But there's a cost involved... first you have to understand something," she paused again before continuing slowly, "Doing this is not reversible." Willie's mouth hung open slightly as he tried to process what she had just said. Not only that but now he wasn't sure he wanted it after all: everything was different now; he was different now... maybe forever? He had never even imagined something like this could happen to someone like him! He couldn't just wake up one day and look like everyone else! He wouldn't even be able to walk around without people staring at him! At least now he blended in enough that people usually ignored him anyway; if they weren't ignoring him they were harassing him! And then it all hit him at once; *she* would really never forgive him for this! This is what she wanted all along! This is why she always made fun of him for being different! Why did people always want to change who you are? What good could possibly come from changing who you are? Willie began hyperventilating as tears streamed down his face again. The nurse pulled a small tube from her pocket and gave it to Willie when he reached out for it desperately trying to breathe normally again. Once his breathing had returned to normal she continued where she left off before stopping herself earlier, "I assume your mother has told you about your father?" That got Willie's attention right away as he looked up at her sharply and nodded slowly. Her lips twisted slightly as her stare locked with his before continuing once more, "Your father died on Mars when your mother was pregnant with you." She paused again briefly before continuing once more, "We hid that fact because we knew she would stop at nothing to keep you safe." She stopped talking again until she saw the realization dawn on Willie's face: is that why mom hated me so much? Is that why I've always felt like an outsider? Is that why they wanted me on Mars so bad? So they could keep me safe? So none of this would happen? So mom wouldn't hate me anymore? Why did dad have to die? Why couldn't mom love me like normal moms love their kids? Why does dad have to be dead?! WHY IS EVERYTHING SO HARD?! As these thoughts raced through his mind another wave of tears came crashing over him as he sobbed silently into his hands again. After several minutes the nurse spoke again after seeing that Willie had calmed down some more during her silence: "You can stay here on Mars or go home," she paused momentarily before continuing softly, "but know that if you choose home... nothing will ever be the same again."