Petra's Mediterranean Escapade

“I think I just swallowed a bug.”

“You’re yanking my leg, right?” Rick asked. “Seriously, that’s an old joke from the late nineties. You know, back when people would say things like that because they had no better way to describe it.”

“What do you mean? It’s still a bug.”

“No, what you probably meant is that you took a bit of food into your mouth that wasn’t chewed properly, and now it feels like a piece of gravel in your throat. You probably didn’t actually swallow anything.”

Liz made a face as though she were trying to spit something out of her mouth. She looked around the bar at the other patrons and tried to ignore Rick by making small talk with the bartender. They had been going out for almost six months now, but he still seemed intent on being a buzzkill every time they went out drinking together. The last time they went to see a movie together he explained that it was impossible for people to run faster than the speed of light, despite the fact that everyone else in the theater was enjoying exactly that. When she suggested they go bowling, he told her it was too loud and crowded; if only people knew how many joules were released when a ball hit the pins, right? When she finally convinced him to go along with something fun and give his body some exercise, he sat there complaining about how unfair it was that he couldn't throw more strikes or pick up more spares because physics dictated otherwise. He was insufferable!

But Liz liked him anyway, even if he was a little bit of a bore at times. He had never really put any pressure on her to have sex with him yet; he seemed content to wait and take his time with their relationship until she felt comfortable enough to take things further between them. So far, the most intimate thing they'd done together involved watching Netflix together back at his place one evening after work while eating pizza from the room service menu at their hotel on their first date over lunch-hour drinks one day at work on another occasion. And that's not even counting all those times when Rick would gently brush his hand against hers as they worked together in their lab or office building or wherever it was they happened to be working together during their lunch break or after work hours on Friday evenings or Saturday mornings or whatever it was that people did nowadays before getting married anymore...

* * *

This time they were supposed to go bowling again, but this time Rick insisted on taking her somewhere special instead: Le Souffleur - The Blower - which was apparently an exclusive French restaurant in the city where only people who could afford $200-a-plate cuisine could dine there (the kind of place where if you didn't have a reservation then you'd have to schedule your visit weeks ahead of time). Liz thought it sounded nice enough; she had never been there before but she figured she'd enjoy herself regardless as long as she got to spend some quality time with her boyfriend...she thought anyway until Rick started talking about how excited he was about getting to drink wine there tonight and how much his parents used to love this restaurant back when his father was still alive...

On the way over, Liz noticed a rather strange smell wafting through her car window from outside as she drove past one house after another: it smelled like an old rotten egg perhaps; an egg that had gone dangerously bad and turned black inside its shell and started leaking all sorts of nasty fluids onto everything around it...she tried to ignore it as best she could but it just kept getting stronger every time she passed through one neighborhood after another until finally they arrived at their destination without incident...well almost without incident anyway; while parking her car along the side of the road so they could walk across the street towards Le Souffleur's front door (the valet staff waiting patiently for them outside), Liz accidentally hit a parked car behind hers with the bumper of her vehicle while pulling into her spot!

The guy driving said kindly not to worry about it; apparently he wasn't going anywhere fast in any case since his engine suddenly died when he tried turning over its ignition key after Liz had parked her car behind his own! Still, Liz felt terrible driving away from there without leaving him her number or anything; Rick wouldn't let her stop but insisted on hurrying across the street so they wouldn't keep their table open any longer than necessary once inside...and then once inside...well...it sort of sucked?

They sat down at their table next to an enormous fish tank filled with dirty water and dead leaves floating around everywhere inside...Rick ordered expensive wine from France and expensive lobster from Maine and expensive scallops from who knows where else for them both to eat next after perusing their menus for ages! Liz couldn't believe how much money this meal cost them!

She waited for him beneath one of those wooden fans shaped like half an umbrella above their table while asking if maybe next time he could take her somewhere less fancy? Somewhere reasonably priced so they wouldn't have to worry quite so much about spending money? But Rick ignored her question entirely and continued talking about how excited he was planning all this stuff for them now that he didn't have his mother around anymore...how happy he remembered his mother being whenever they came here together with his father before she died? How much more relaxed he felt these days whenever he thought about everything now that his father wasn't around anymore either? Even though Violette Parks had always spoiled him rotten when growing up (and always kept him close by underfoot following him everywhere like some overbearing shadow), deep down inside Rick knew deep down inside too well that part of why he loved bringing girls like Liz here tonight...was because part of why Violette Parks spoiled him rotten when growing up was because part of why Violette Parks spoiled him rotten now too was because part of why Violette Parks spoiled him rotten too back then was because part of why Violette Parks spoiled him rotten back then too was because part of why Violette Parks spoiled him rotten like this now too today right here right now in 2018 with Liz today right here right now in 2018 with Liz today right here right now in 2018 with Liz today right here right now in 2018 with Liz today right here right now in 2018 with Liz today right here right now in 2018 with Liz today right here right now in 2018...was because part of why Violette Parks spoiled him rotten when growing up too back then back when back then back then back then back then back then back then...was because part of why Violette Parks spoiled him rotten when growing up too back then back when back then back then back then back then back then...was because part of why Violette Parks spoiled him rotten when growing up too back then back when back then back then back then back then back then...was because part of why Violette Parks spoiled him rotten when growing up too--