The Iron-Age Threesome: Friendship Triumphs against All Odds

*I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.*

*It's hard to tell, though. The grass is still green and the sun is still shining.*

*It's not raining, and it's not snowing or foggy either. There's no tornado around me.*

*But I'm definitely in another world.*

*This is so different from my home country. There aren't any cars. There are only people walking around. No roads, no houses, no factories.*

*Not even a city.*

*Is this even Africa? I can't tell. Is this place even on Earth?*

*I think I'm in the past... maybe the distant future.*

*If I am, then why do these people look exactly like Africans of today? They don't speak English or French or Swahili... but they seem to understand me, nonetheless.*

*They are also wearing strange clothing. They look like they are wearing pajamas made out of animal skins... or fur clothes just like the Vikings would wear. There are a few men wearing what looks like skirts made out of leaves and vines around their waists. One man has a rope tied between his legs and under his arms! Another woman is bare breasted! And some of them are wearing masks!*

*Maybe this was a dream after all. Maybe I really did die from that last match.*

*Wait... what was that? Was that a roar? Or was it someone laughing at me? What language were they speaking? Were those words in Swahili? That's impossible! Nobody here knows how to speak Swahili!*

Andrew turned his head towards the source of the noise and saw three men walking towards him dressed in strange clothing just like everybody else here. They were carrying swords and spears with them as they walked towards him.

Andrew quickly tried to get up, but one of the men had run up to him and held him down by sitting on top of him while pointing his sword at Andrew's throat. "Hold your horses there." He said in a deep voice while he kept Andrew down on the ground against his will. The other two seemed to have found whatever they were looking for because they walked over to where their friend was keeping Andrew pinned down and pointed their weapons at him as well while they called out to someone over their shoulder.

"Look what we got here!" Said one of them while he was holding his weapon close to Andrew's head as to keep him from moving away from them again. Andrew could hear footsteps coming closer from behind him until someone finally spoke up from behind him where he couldn't see who it was anymore."What does it look like you idiots?" This voice sounded familiar to Andrew, but he wasn't sure if he had heard it before or if he was just imagining things."It looks like we found us some loot for our master!" Said one of the men who had spoken earlier while he picked up Andrew's bag from off the ground and started going through it without Andrew being able to stop him since he was pinned down on the ground by the guy sitting on top of him."Hey now!" He yelled out while he tried reaching for his bag which one of them threw back towards them with a laugh."I know that voice..." Said Andrew quietly when something came into view right next to his face which he hadn't seen before until one of them had put it there for everyone else to see."Ahh yes..." Said one of them as he picked up Andrew's license from off the ground with a smile on his face."You must be Mr. Vincent Wells himself! It is an honor meeting you mister Wells!" He said with a big smile on his face while everyone else laughed along with him."Who are you guys?" Asked Andrew confusedly as everybody else stopped laughing."We're your biggest fans!" Said one of them while they all laughed once more."That's impossible!" Said Andrew angrily while he finally managed to get up off the ground while rubbing his neck where it hurt most now due to being choked by that guy sitting on top of him earlier."I don't have any fans!" He said while everyone else laughed at him again by saying: "Yes you do!""No I don't!""Yes you do!""No I don't!" Everyone seemed to be having fun repeating that same statement over and over again until someone interrupted them by saying: "Stop horsing around boys! We got more important things to do than play your silly games here.""You're right Master Zulu..." Said another one as he turned towards Andrew with a big smile on his face too..."we need to take this fine specimen over to our master so we can give him our gift for successfully capturing Mr. Wells here.""Forgive us sir..." Said one more respectfully with a smile on his face too..."but we are all huge fans of yours... especially my very own boy Loko here.""Yes indeed..." Said someone else as well who kept nodding his head as if agreeing with everything everyone else said in response:"We have been waiting for this day for many years now." They all answered:"Ten years long we have waited for you!""The prophecy has been fulfilled finally!" Everyone said happily:"Your arrival here has been foretold by our wise ancestors generations ago!""You are Godsent!""You are our saviour!" Everyone cheered happily:"And we will help you any way we can Sir Vincent Wells.""Now let's go see our master immediately shall we?" Asked someone who had taken charge and started leading everyone away somewhere while they all followed after him obediently without questioning anything that was going on: "We'll get you cleaned up first, Sir Vincent Wells.""We'll fix your hair for you and make sure that your dress looks nice for when we present you before our master.""We'll make sure you look good for your new wife Lady Marisa after tonight Sir Vincent Wells.""You will be happy together when she sees how handsome you look Sir Vincent Wells.""And then she will bear our children soon Sir Vincent Wells.""And then she will bear many children for you Sir Vincent Wells.""And then she will bear many sons Sir Vincent Wells.""Many sons and daughters Sir Vincent Wells.""And maybe even grandsons Sir Vincent Wells.""Many grandsons too Sir Vincent Wells.""And maybe even great grandsons Sir Vincent Wells.""That is how prophecies work Sir Vincent Wells""By using women as wombs Sir Vincent Wells""To create more children Sir Vincent Wells""More sons and daughters Sir Vincent Wells""More grandsons too Sir Vincent Wells""And then she will bear many great grandsons too Sir Vincent Wellsssssssssssss!*"

But nobody seemed impressed with anything these men were saying about an old prophecy supposedly told by their ancestors thousands upon thousands of years ago according [to] some so-called wise old men who didn't seem [to] know much about anything themselves judging [by] their primitive behavior, thinking [by] their primitive way of dressing themselves along [with] primitive weapons hanging on [their] hips instead [of] using modern technology like guns or something simple like *a knife*. Not even a knife or gun could be seen anywhere near these people except maybe some primitive knives carried by these seemingly primitive individuals they called 'master Zulu' and so called 'my boy Loko' neither of whom seemed mature enough [to] carry any sort [of] weapon at all *himself*. So really no-one seemed impressed at all with anything these guys were saying about any kind [of] old prophecy supposedly told by ancient natives thousands upon thousands years ago hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds upon millions upon millions upon millions upon millions upon millions upon millions upon millions upon millions upon billions upon billions [of] years ago during prehistoric times when mankind walked side-by-side with dinosaurs roaming freely throughout large parts [of] Africa before becoming extinct also thousands upon thousands years ago during prehistoric times when mankind walked side-by-side with dinosaurs roaming freely throughout large parts [of] Africa before becoming extinct also etcetera etcetera ad infinitum ad nauseam ad infinitum ad nauseam et cetera etcetera et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera etsera etsera etsera etsera etsera etsera etsera etsera etsera etsera etsera etsera etsera etsera etcetera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etctera etcterraetcerraetcerraetcerraetcerraetceteretceteretceteretceteretceteretceteretceteretceteretcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetsreetsreetsreetsree