Tim Takes a Stand

“You’re going to fight who?” asked Sarah, looking at me with a mix of concern and pity.

I shrugged. “The Neanderthal that’s been sniffing around my territory.”

Sarah looked over her shoulder, towards the cave the Neanderthal had made his home in. It was an old entrance to an old mine shaft that probably went straight down into the earth beneath us all. I imagined it was rather nice inside; warm, and dry, and free from the dangers of an unpredictable weather system or sudden flood. There was also plenty of food in there, as he could find enough to eat with all those supplies left behind by the miners when they’d given up on mining this long ago.

Sarah wasn’t impressed by my plan. “Tim, you don’t even know if he can talk! He could be dangerous! You should just leave him alone and let him go about his business!”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “He can talk just fine; we all learned English in school, remember? Besides, he doesn’t have a lot of friends anyway, so I doubt he wants to steal any of ours! Now come on, I promised my Dad I’d do some hunting today before he went fishing with his friends!”

Despondent, Sarah sighed and turned away from me. I watched her walk back to our little cave home before turning and heading off towards the Neanderthal's cave. He hadn't been bothering us very much recently; at least not that I'd noticed. Of course, that's what they always say when you're getting too close to their turf... But then again, why would he want to steal our stuff? We didn't have anything worth taking besides Sarah herself, and even she didn't seem interested in him anymore...

I walked by where some other friends of mine were sitting outside their own home cave, eying me with curiosity as I passed them by. Some nodded at me in greeting while others just stared sullenly as if they wished they could be doing something more interesting than watching people go by their front door all day long like they were a bunch of zombies or something. Ugh, so boring...

I finally reached the cave entrance and paused to look around for any sign of the Neanderthal. Nothing stirred within or without so I headed inside on hands and knees with my spear held out in front of me like a knight going into battle with a sword drawn against evil incarnate. No one needs to see how silly this is; show them you mean business and be done with it...

When it seemed clear that the place was empty save for me, I stood up straight and felt around for the torch mounted on the wall nearby. The place lit up more brightly than usual thanks to it being midday outside but still not quite bright enough for me to see clearly where I was going...

That's when it happened: my hand brushed against something furry and warm which suddenly moved forward and wrapped its arms around my chest from behind me! Before I could react further than flinching backwards in surprise (which caused me to bump into a stone pillar behind me) the hairy thing had leapt onto my shoulders and wrapped its legs around my waist! It looked like an ape - dark-skinned with long black hair - but not quite human either... And it was talking!

[Damnit! Still talking!] "Let go of me you damn ape!" I shouted angrily at it as I tried to throw it off me but it wouldn't budge no matter how hard I shook it about until finally giving up in frustration. "Okay okay! Just get off already!" The ape climbed down onto my shoulders instead and faced me directly with its arms folded across its chest arrogantly like a giant gorilla would do once it had won a fight against some smaller apes who dared challenge it for dominance over their little band of animals living together in harmony under his protection until some stupid human poked it with a stick...

[Just like this stupid human...] "Who are you?" demanded the ape in English which shocked me greatly because no animal had ever spoken that language before except humans after all... But then again this guy looked half-human so maybe he'd learned English along with everyone else? Maybe his parents had both been humans who'd met each other through work at some mine or another? That would make sense seeing as how many humans must've lived here at one time...

"Uh..." said the ape while tapping its chin with one finger thoughtfully before nodding as if it'd finally figured something out for itself which wasn't obvious to everyone else who knew what was going on already *cough* *cough*. "My name's George." It then gestured towards itself with both hands raised high above its head again proudly like a gorilla showing off its strength or something like that but of course being an ape there wasn't much strength demonstrated there (though technically George was more human than gorilla since gorillas can't speak English). "I'm big strong George!" Then it walked past me towards where I kept my spear leaning against the wall next to where I keep my torch although now only one torch remained (the other having fallen over during my scuffle with George) so hopefully George didn't think that meant there were two people living here because otherwise we were screwed because Sarah wasn't nearly strong enough or large enough to beat this guy if he decided to attack us for whatever reason *cough* *cough*.

[Well fuck... And here I am thinking we were making progress as a species.]

[So what do you do now Tim?]

[You idiot!] My dad would kill me if anything happened to Sarah or our home because of this guy! Hell, even Mom might get pissed off if something bad happened while she'd be out gathering nuts & berries in these woods too far away from us! Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope NOOPE NOOPE NOOPE NOOPE NOOPE NOOPE NOOPE NOOPE NOOPE!!! If only there was some way I could get rid of this guy without anybody knowing about trouble... Or as much trouble as possible anyway since we're still living in prehistoric times here so there's not exactly cops walking around everywhere ready to arrest someone for trying to murder someone else or anything like that... Hopefully George isn't violent despite looking kind of scary though so hopefully he'll just leave us alone once we're finished chatting... So how best do we start our conversation...? Hmmm...

[Maybe let him ask first since he might want things from us too...? Like territory or something?]

[Yeah yeah let him ask first.]

[What would you ask for first before starting your conversation though?]

[A place at your fire?] suggested George (probably having read minds or whatever) when he turned back towards me after finding my spear which was now lying flat across his broad shoulders across both arms pressed tightly together underneath it horizontally (with the pointy end facing downwards towards his feet hovering just above his big hairy feet). He put on a big goofy grin while looking back at me while standing tall upright holding up said spear proudly like he'd been born carrying one around wherever he went (or maybe like people carry babies around sometimes?) but still managing somehow not to poke himself in vital organs accidentally while doing so which would've hurt quite badly apparently so kudos on that effort dude (especially since you don't seem very smart considering how you managed to mess around with Tim earlier)! *cough* *cough* *ahem* Anyway maybe asking him about where his territory is would work better instead? "Where are you from originally?" asked Tim cautiously because this guy seemed pretty friendly but probably couldn't speak well either given how bad his grammar & sentence structure were (and wondering how someone who can barely speak English can understand so much of what others are saying back like Tim has no idea how lucky he is compared to this guy). Which reminded Tim of what else needed fixing aside from deciding whether or not George should stay here among them or not -- namely Tim's grammar & sentence structure since life would probably be easier if he wasn't so snarky all the time which tended to irritate people more than help them realise their mistakes when they made them plus Tim hated admitting when he was wrong especially when other people pointed out mistakes they'd spotted since that usually led him feeling foolish which made him angry even angrier than normal which is always fun...) Noticing Tim staring intently at George's face curiously (hopefully waiting patiently for an answer), George laughed loudly while shaking his head back & forth rapidly side-to-side while still holding up Tim's spear proudly high up in front of himself until eventually realising how stupid it looked carrying another person's spear like that - especially since Tim obviously wanted nothing more than for him to take off said spear already - which caused George suddenly look down toward his body awkwardly scratching his head sheepishly before lowering said weapon towards the floor again just before dropping it entirely (and almost stabbing himself in one foot instead!). Realising his mistake quickly enough however George quickly picked up Tim's weapon again only this time leaving both hands resting underneath either side of said weapon instead (with one thumb