Stone Secrets of Korea

One day in the stone age, two cavemen were having a rough time of it.

The first was named Jang Su. He was a young, strong man with a heart of gold and a body made for fighting. At his side was his trusty spear, carved from the bones of his enemies. The other was his girlfriend Hae Jin, strong and independent but still very much prone to needing protection.

Jang Su was walking through the woods when he saw what appeared to be a gazelle standing around doing nothing. Curious, he took out his bow and shot at the beast, killing it instantly. It turned out that the animal wasn’t a gazelle at all, but a poor innocent deer who had simply been minding her own business. She too had been an innocent victim of Jang Su’s naivety and lack of intelligence. In fact, he didn’t even know which one he had killed until Hae Jin pointed it out to him as she dragged it along by its hooves behind her.

As they continued on their journey home, Jang Su began to feel awful about what he had done. His conscience was weighing heavily on him; he felt like he was so far from being a good person that there was no way he could ever make it up to the poor creature he had killed by eating her flesh. He looked over at Hae Jin, who seemed to be more focused on dragging the deer along than she was on trying to console her boyfriend. He tried talking to her about it, but unfortunately Hae Jin wasn't much of a talker herself; she just grunted in response and kept dragging along the poor animal's corpse. Still feeling upset about what had happened, Jang Su decided that instead of eating the deer himself, he would give away some pieces of meat to people who needed them more than him or Hae Jin did. When they got back home that night, they ate their meal in silence and went to bed early.

The next morning the two woke up to the sound of moaning coming from outside their cave. They rushed out into the open where they found an elderly man lying on the ground surrounded by a group of people who were tending to him and trying to ask him questions. From his gasps and coughs between painful moans, it sounded like either somebody had beat him up pretty badly or he had eaten something poisonous by mistake (probably both). As Jang Su approached him with his well-honed emergency medicine skills, the old man let out one last shuddering cough before dying right there on the spot. Everyone gathered around looked genuinely shocked that such an old man would die so suddenly; Jang Su himself felt like crying after seeing such an unfortunate turn of events unfold right in front of his eyes. Nobody knew what happened next or how they should react; they just stared blankly at each other until one person spoke up: “We have to bury him!” Suddenly everyone began shouting their agreement as they ran off into different directions looking for tools and wood for a burial cairn where they could lay the old man’s body down before covering it with rocks until finally nobody could tell where he was buried anymore.

Later on in their home cave once again, Jang Su and Hae Jin sat together silently while digesting their sad breakfast made from rabbits Jang Su caught yesterday morning before waking up late for breakfast with Hae Jin this morning because he couldn’t sleep because of his troubling thoughts about what happened with the deer yesterday morning combined with all this news about some old man dying today that everyone is talking about places them in a very depressed mood indeed before deciding that instead of getting all depressed about things we don’t understand we might as well get ready for our exciting day ahead today we will spend part 1 hunting for food for tonight we will spend part 2 giving food away because I am feeling especially nice today before finally deciding enough is enough I am not going to let things keep bothering me anymore I am going to do something about them right now I am going to solve all my problems now right this moment so I can stop thinking about them forever so without further ado here I go oh hello deer you're still here oh hello deer you're still here whoa okay okay okay calm down calm down calm down everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay...