Aardvark Adventure: Quest for the Universe's Might

I pull the tarp off my car and reveal an old, beat up Fiat.

"I see you've got a car now," she says. "Does that mean you're going to get a job?"

"No, I'm going to save the world."

"Oh Christ, not this again." She lights a cigarette and takes a long drag.

"Can you be more specific? The world, or just our country?" I say as I push her out of the way so I can close the garage door.

"Do whatever you want with it, but don't expect me to help you." She flicks her cigarette into the street as we walk past the rows of identical houses, all painted in different shades of beige with brown trim.

"Try to have some faith in me. I'm the only one who can do it." I glance over at her and she gives me a look that tells me she's about five seconds from slapping me. We finally reach my house and I unlock the door. It smells like cat piss in here.

"Why are you doing this again?" she asks as we enter my living room where there's a small pile of dirty dishes in the corner next to an overflowing ashtray on top of which is perched a sleeping cat. She walks over to the sink and turns on the faucet while muttering how disgusting this place is under her breath.

"Because they need me," I reply while looking through my mail that has gathered on my coffee table since last Thursday. "They don't know why they need me, but they do."

She scrubs the dishes in my sink and then dumps them into my dishwasher. "Don't you think it's time for something different? Like what about going outside for once? Have you ever seen another person besides me?" She opens my fridge and finds six bottles of orange juice and four dead beers. "Ugh, no wonder your cats smell like piss." She throws everything away except for one beer and opens it before sitting down on my couch. Black smoke begins to pour out of it as she sits down on it and curls up into a ball with her legs tucked under her body. "You're a crazy person if you think anyone needs you," she says while taking a sip from her beer bottle which is literally smoking because she's sitting on it.

I finally find what I was looking for: an eviction notice from American Electric Power (AEP). "Well shit," I say after reading what it says, "I guess somebody needs me."