Night Symbols in Brooklyn

It was an unwelcoming day. I felt my bones ache as I walked up the concrete stairway. The air was dry, and the sky was gray. My temples throbbed with a steady beat; the weight of my tired eyes was crushing my face. I was tired from traveling, and it had been a long day. It has always been a long day since my journey began. In fact, I am not even sure how long ago it started, but I couldn’t remember a time when it wasn’t there...

My first memory is of being in the backseat of the car with my parents and brother on a long road trip to visit relatives. As we drove through the night, I would stare out the window at the passing lights of other cars and towns and people, happy that we were all together. It was a safe feeling that I hadn’t felt in some time. And whenever I thought about this memory, which seems to pop up like an unexpected guest in my mind sometimes, I feel that warmth again.

The one thing that would make this perfect would be if we could have just kept driving for days, weeks, years...forever. But we couldn’t. We had to stop eventually, and so did everyone else on those roads leading to their own destinies in other towns and cities far away from us all. We finally arrived at our destination: a dark house surrounded by an orange glow from the street lamps. The house looked quiet and empty as we approached it; there weren’t any cheerful faces to greet us or squeals of children playing outside. But who knows what's really going on in anyone else's life? Maybe they were just not ready for guests yet?

We walked into this house where we had lived before over twenty years ago, now inhabited by strangers who did not know us at all or why we were here today. There wasn't much to say as we were all tired from our journey, so instead we just unpacked our things and headed straight to bed after eating leftovers from the fridge that still tasted good despite being several days old (which says something about how long it took us to get there).

When morning came, however, something was different inside me - something was off-balance somehow - perhaps it was the smell of bacon cooking down below or maybe it was because these people looked so much like my family and yet were strangers? A creeping dread grew inside me but I didn’t quite understand why until later that afternoon when my father approached me by himself in what seemed like an oddly intimate moment between us. "You should go see your Aunt Lillian," he said quietly as if he didn't want to be overheard by anyone else in that house---as if it were a secret of some kind that only he knew about and wanted desperately to tell me alone before he died or something like that---and then he handed me a piece of paper with his sister's name handwritten on it along with some sort of code written underneath her name along with some symbols that looked vaguely familiar but not quite right...and then he walked away abruptly without saying another word before disappearing somewhere upstairs leaving me alone in the living room holding on tightly to his strange note.

I sat there dumbly staring at the list for several minutes trying to figure out what my father's cryptic message meant while trying not to cry because I also felt weirdly guilty for having these thoughts about him after everything he had done for us (including this trip) but then suddenly heard footsteps coming towards me quickly from behind followed by someone shouting: "Hey! What are you doing here?"

I turned around quickly to see my little brother confronting me aggressively as if he might start fighting with me if I didn't give him an answer immediately: "What are YOU doing here?! Don't you know nobody tells you anything anymore? Where are Mom and Dad? Why are you looking at that piece of paper? Who wrote Aunt Lillian's name down?" He asked angrily while pointing accusingly at my hand with its mysterious list written on it: "Is THAT why Dad gave you this note?"

"I don't know," I replied defensively while still trying to decipher what it all meant: "He just gave it to me! He told me where she lives though..."

"Oh yeah?" My brother interrupted cutting off whatever else I might have added as if he already knew everything already by reading my mind: "How could you possibly know where she lives?"

"Ummmm...."

"Did Dad tell you where she lives?" He repeated impatiently waiting for an answer: "Because nobody knows where Aunt Lillian has been living for years now! Nobody knows where she is! She's missing!"

"What?!"

"She disappeared two weeks ago! That's why nobody knows where she is!" He shouted loudly: "That's why Dad isn't here right now!" Then lowering his voice conspiratorially: "...and neither is Mom."

"They're gone too?!" Then realizing what I had said: "Wait---why do YOU know where they are or aren't!? You're only seven years old!"

"I'm eleven!" He yelled angrily back at me: "And besides nobody cares how old I am anymore! No one cares about age anymore because no one is ever supposed to disappear like this! It doesn't make any sense!" Then suddenly more serious as if realizing something important about himself: "...but maybe it does." Then struggling through his anger once again trying to find answers in his head: "Because look at us...we're Asian...right? And Aunt Lillian is our great-aunt who is even older than Grandma who never leaves her room upstairs anymore...she doesn't even talk anymore." Then thinking harder: "And Mom has been acting weird lately too...like she's not herself anymore, like she can't decide what she wants anymore....and Dad..." Suddenly lost for words: "...Dad has been acting strangely too....like something bad happened but nobody will talk about it...but maybe they can't." Then looking back up at me suddenly hopeful: "But maybe they can talk through us." Then getting excited again: "...so let's go meet Aunt Lillian together!" Then grabbing hold of my arm hard enough to hurt while dragging me towards the door before pausing suddenly in front of it realizing something important after all these years (a realization which finally made sense only today): "Wait---you're NOT going anywhere without ME!" And so together we left that strange house behind and set out on another long drive across America back towards home remembering a time when life was simpler as we tried desperately now during our journey across Asia hoping somehow against hope that life could return once again to normal before something terrible happened --- before someone else disappeared next time --- because even though times change people don't usually change so much after all...not unless they begin wandering aimlessly through strange lands far away from home searching (or avoiding) new things which may have been forgotten somewhere along the way...