Adventures at Riverdale High

My first day at a new school.

It was always a huge deal for me, and I usually had a hard time making friends. Maybe the teachers here will be different?

I got out my backpack and pulled out my lunch. I ate it, and then started walking towards the school.

"Hey, Red!" A voice called to me. I looked at the person who'd called me, and I was shocked to see that he looked exactly like Archie Andrews from my favourite comic books. He wore his trademark red jacket, with a "C" on the pocket; he had blond hair and blue eyes; he was tanned, muscular, and tall. In fact, he looked just like the character in all aspects except that he seemed to have a nosebleed.

"You okay?" I asked him. When he didn't reply, I reached over to try to help him when another kid came up beside us and kicked him over the railing into an open manhole in front of the school. The boy who did it looked just like Reggie Mantle: He had thick eyebrows, black hair that was styled into a pompadour, he wore sunglasses on top of his head (even though it was raining), and was dressed in an expensive-looking suit. He also seemed to be covered in dirt. "Reggie Mantle?" I said in disbelief.

"Ahh! You know my name!" The kid said ecstatically, "This is so cool!" He turned around and kicked Archie again before jumping into the hole after him.

I looked down into the hole and saw that it went a long way down before ending at a river; there were people floating by on logs who seemed to be unconscious... or dead. "Archie!" I shouted after him. Looking around as fast as I could for other people who might be able to help me, I noticed that all of them were dressed exactly like characters from "Riverdale High", which is where Archie's comics took place: There was Betty Cooper wearing her signature dress with puffed sleeves and white ruffles; Veronica Lodge wearing her signature pink dress with white polka dots; Jughead Jones wearing his signature hat; Reggie Mantle with his two lackeys (who were both dressed in what looked like their wrestling costumes); Chuck Clayton dressed in shorts; Moose Mason wearing his football helmet; Dilton Doiley looking through his magnifying glass delightedly at what looked like worms crawling across the ground; Ethel Muggs dressed in pink gym clothes doing pullups on one side of her body while eating chips on the other side with her mouth literally full of food; Moose's mom dressed in a nurse's uniform; Mr Weatherbee dressed in hunter's gear holding what looked like an assault rifle; Mrs Grundy looking disapprovingly at Veronica... It was really strange! All of them were staring at me angrily as if they wanted something from me but weren't sure how to ask for it. The only ones not here were Jughead himself and his dog Hot Dog... but then I realized that Hot Dog was here too - he'd been there all along! He was just hiding behind Betty Cooper's skirt so nobody could see him.

"Juggy!" I yelled out happily waving my arms to get his attention so that we can find each other since this place is pretty big! Just then though, Betty Cooper grabbed Hot Dog and hid him under her skirt again! Sheesh! That girl has some serious issues... but maybe she has more in common with Jughead than she realizes? In any case, it looks like she wants to play keep-away so I'll have to figure out something else... hmm... maybe everybody here wants something from me? If that's right then maybe if I gave them what they wanted they'd give something back in return? Ooh! What if they want friendship? When Jughead had given me a friendship bracelet last week it made me feel really good inside so maybe this will work too? It's worth a shot anyway so here goes nothing!

I walked up to Betty Cooper and held out my hand for Hot Dog politely saying "Please give him back." She grudgingly gave Hot Dog back to Jughead - or rather she threw him violently at Jughead - causing Hot Dog to yelp as he hurtled through the air towards Jughead who caught him thankfully before setting him down gently on the ground beside himself where he could rest without being interrupted by anyone else. Now that everyone knows what they want they'll probably go away now which means that we can start getting ready for class together! But instead of leaving, Betty Cooper reached under her skirt again to pull Hot Dog out yet again (how many times is this going to happen today?!). Then she started hitting Jughead repeatedly with Hot Dog until finally she threw Hot Dog into Moose Mason's face where he got stuck between Moose's horns because he didn't notice it coming until it hit him directly in front of his eyes while he wasn't paying attention (which is probably why she threw it there instead of closer to herself) causing him great pain which caused Chuck Clayton (who was nearby) to do an action movie high kick across Moose's face knocking off Moose's horns from his head which flew away from them until they landed near Dilton Doiley who picked them up curiously before tossing them aside thinking that they were garbage when really they were important props for Moose Mason's current costume - if those horns are lost before Moose can get them returned then we'll have no way of knowing how famous he'll be later which might affect the story very badly! Thankfully though, Ethel Muggs picked them up with her mouth before they got thrown away by Dilton Doiley accidentally so now we can continue without worrying about that issue anymore! This should make things easier for us now that we don't have to worry about looking for those horns! Everyone had been watching Betty Cooper beat Jughead senseless until Chuck Clayton did that high kick which caused everyone else who'd been watching silently until then suddenly jump into action yelling at each other about what happened until finally Mr Weatherbee showed up holding his gun threateningly telling everyone else except for Jughead himself ("No touching!") not to touch Chuck Clayton or else you'll get shot! This caused everyone else to stop paying attention because their priority now was avoiding getting shot by Mr Weatherbee instead of continuing their argument which meant that they forgot all about their original argument entirely except for Veronica Lodge who remembered that she'd been mad at Betty Cooper when she took Hot Dog away from her so even though Mr Weatherbee showed up she still kept trying argue with Betty Cooper about why she shouldn't be allowed touch Hot Dog while Mr Weatherbee continued yelling threateningly demanding silence while pointing his gun around threateningly despite the fact that nobody noticed because they were all ignoring everybody else right now instead of arguing with one another like they used to be doing earlier when this first started happening... huh... wow... things sure calmed down quickly after Chuck Clayton kicked Moose Mason in the face knocking off his horns huh? Oh well... anyway we're almost ready for class so let's get our stuff together quickly so we can go inside!