Uncharted Passions: Emma and Nathalie's African Adventure

Emma Watson, being a spy, had a lot of skills.

For example, she could use a gun.

She also knew how to drive like a rally driver. And she was very good at it. She could sneak out of any place. She could pick any lock and make any bomb.

All these things, though, were trivial compared to the skill that made her stand out among all spies in the world: she was a master flirter.

"You have such beautiful eyes," Emma would say as she met a target for the first time. "And you are so intelligent."

"You're even more beautiful than people said," the target would reply, blushing.

Then they would smile at each other and talk about their lives until they fell deeply in love. It was almost too easy.

And today Emma was going to flirt with Nathalie Dormer, curator of the local museum.

The day started well enough. It was raining outside, but not hard enough to make it impossible to drive even if you weren't as good as Emma at it, so Emma left her apartment with confidence and got into her car. Her mission was to ruin the career of an Italian general who had created an alliance with some local terrorists and sold them some weapons from his country's military warehouses. He'd done it after his girlfriend broke up with him and he wanted to get back at her by getting money for himself and spreading terrorism through North Africa for no particular reason besides money. He'd had a pretty girlfriend before he became a terrorist, so Emma figured that something had happened between them that made him become one because girls always break up with guys when they do stupid things like selling weapons to terrorists or doing bad acting in movies where they pretend to be doctors or whatever else stupid people do when they're mad at someone else and they want revenge on them so they try to ruin their lives by destroying their reputations and making them lose lots of money so that they can spend it on therapy sessions and stuff like that because people seem to think that's how you fix problems between two people instead of talking like adults, but anyway she was here on a mission now so she didn't have time to think about it now but maybe later when she got home after saving the world again she'd think about it but then again maybe not because who cares what crazy Italians do with guns anyway? They'll just end up killing each other like all Italians do everywhere else in Italy because apparently Italians don't know how to be good citizens or something and ruin everything for everyone else so there's no point thinking about them anyway ...

"AHEM!" said Emma's boss at headquarters, interrupting Emma's thoughts which had become steadily more incoherent over the last minute or so as her train of thought leapt from topic to topic without making much sense in between. "I mean yes ... I mean continue."

"Oh," said Emma, suddenly remembering why she was here in the first place. "Right! So I'm here right now at the museum where this chick works whose name is Nathalie Dormer."

"Nathalie?" interrupted her boss again, sounding confused. "That sounds French."

"It is French," replied Emma patiently as if explaining something obvious to a simpleton (which her boss probably was). "The surname 'Dormer' is French too."

"So why did you say it wrong?" asked her boss irritably (he often seemed irritated lately). After all he was only human too! He hadn't given birth to himself after all! It just wasn't fair! He deserved better treatment than this! Maybe he should take a long vacation somewhere nice! Maybe next week! Or maybe tomorrow morning! Yes that sounded perfect! A long vacation tomorrow morning! Maybe he'd find another job while he was away from work enjoying himself on vacation! Maybe he'd quit his current job altogether! Yes that sounded perfect! He should quit! Now! Today even! Right now even! In fact he'd go do it right now even!!! And then maybe later tonight he'd hit on some girls in whatever bar or club or wherever else he ended up going tonight after leaving work early after being so fed up with his job at headquarters today because he didn't want this job anymore anyway because who wants this job anyway? No one does! Not him certainly not anymore anyway!!! He definitely didn't want this job anymore!!! That's for sure!!! No way!!! Not ever!!! Never ever!!! Nuh uh!!! Not a chance!!! He definitely wouldn't want this job ever again!!! No way!!! Not ever!!! No sir-ree bob!!! Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope never ever never again no sir-ree bob no way Jose Bob no way José José José José José José José José José José José José José José José Jose Jose Jose Jose Jose Jose Jose Jose Jose Jose Jose Jose Jo-o Jo-o Jo-o Jo-o Jo-o Jo-o Jooooohhhhhhhhooooooooooo!!!!!!!"

Then with that, Emma's boss stormed angrily out of headquarters, slamming the door behind him hard enough that it hurt his hand quite badly and made him feel quite angry at himself in turn because it had been his own fault for slamming doors like that in the first place instead of opening them gently which is what normal people do when they try to open doors gently instead of slamming them open angrily when they're really really really really really REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really frustrated about something because slamming doors like crazy whenever you're feeling angry doesn't do anything except make you look stupidly childish and therefore make everyone hate you forever forever forever forever forever forever forever forever forever forever forever forever forever forever tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Sunday Sunday Sunday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-Monday Mon...