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The first time I died, I was nine years old.

I’d clumsily tripped over my own feet while running across the playground at school. My head had hit the concrete with a crack that I could actually feel even through the dulling effects of being unconscious. A few minutes later, my life would be over forever.

Except it wasn’t.

I woke up in the nurse’s office with a splitting headache and a bandage around my head. My mother stormed into the room and screeched at me for nearly an hour before taking me home. I spent the rest of the day in my room trying not to cry from the pain and shame, and wondering what had happened to me. Had God shown mercy? Or was I just lucky?

When I was twelve, I got on a flight from Chicago to New York with my father. We were supposed to go to Disneyland together, but there was some kind of emergency on our plane before we took off and we crashed into the ground when we tried to land. Somehow I survived that too. Everyone else died, but I walked away without a scratch on me. When they asked how I’d managed that, I told them that it must have been because God loved me more than he did everyone else on the plane.

My grandmother died when I was fourteen, and again, when she saw that I hadn’t been harmed in any way by her own death she said that God must have saved me for some greater purpose other than dying young like everyone else in our family. But she never told me what that purpose could possibly be. She just smiled sadly at me and said that one day I would find out for myself, and then she died again. Her second death was too sudden to be natural; it looked like she’d been poisoned or stabbed or something like that. But no one could figure out who would want to kill her, or why anyone would want to do such a thing if they had done it. She just winked at me from where she lay dead on the floor of her house before disappearing entirely from this world once more.

I was nineteen when my grandfather died in a car crash caused by drunk drivers who ran into his car head on while he was driving back home from work one night after work himself late one night after staying late at his job as well because he wanted so badly to make sure that he could finally afford to send his wife and his grandkids on vacation somewhere nice where they could all get away from all of their troubles for a little while and forget about reality for just a little bit longer than they normally were able to manage at any given moment throughout their lives because so many things seemed to always be going wrong in their lives throughout every single day of their lives ever since childhood but maybe especially during adulthood but maybe especially during adulthood because of how much harder adulthood is than childhood but then again maybe not so much harder as long as you know how to deal with it which pretty much means making sure you don't let anything get you down whatever might happen throughout your life no matter what happens no matter how bad things might get you have to keep going until you make it through okay -" His entire life flashed before him before he disappeared forever into oblivion forevermore never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever going anywhere ever again except maybe heaven or hell depending on what he did while he was alive whether or not he lived a good life or spent all of his time drinking alcohol doing drugs taking pills popping pills jumping jacks jumping rope skipping rope hiking hiking hiking hiking hiking hiking hiking hiking hiking hiking biking biking biking biking biking biking biking biking biking biking skating skating skating skating skateboarding skateboarding rock climbing rock climbing rock climbing rock climbing mountain climbing mountain climbing mountain climbing mountain climbing mountain climbing mountaineering mountaineering mountaineering mountaineering mountaineering mountaineering mountaineering mountaineering travel travel travel travel travel travel travel travel travel travel traveling traveling traveling traveling traveling traveling traveling traveling traveling traveling travelling skiing skiing skiing skiing skiing skiing ski boarding ski boarding snowboarding snowboarding snowboarding snowboarding snowboarding snowboarding soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer basketball basketball basketball basketball basketball baseball batting batting batting batting batting softball soft ball softball golf golf golf golf golf golf golf golf golf golf golf fishing fishing fishing fishing fishing fly fishing fly fishing fly fishing fly fishing fly fishing fly fishing fly fishing flying flying flying flying flying flying flying flying flying flying flying flying flying flying swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming swimming cycling cycling cycle bike bike bike bike bike bike bike paddle boarding paddle boarding paddle boarding paddle boarding paddle boarding 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