Kindness Revisited

"You’re not a man, you're a... fucking robot."

Mahito looked at his shoes. His feet were so small compared to the European-sized shoes he was wearing now. He had gotten in the habit of constantly looking at his feet in order to avoid looking at anyone else.

Lauren was right, of course; he was not a man. Not anymore. But she was wrong about what kind of robot he was. He would never hurt her, never abuse her, never manipulate her. He couldn't even follow her as she walked away from him down the street in their hometown.

They had been friends since they were children. She was always the smartest girl in class and he the quiet boy who sat next to her and paid attention to whatever she said because it seemed like something important was happening when Lauren spoke. She had white hair that hung in front of her eyes and she would brush it out of the way with an annoyed sigh whenever Mahito asked her if he could help her with whatever she was working on. There was no one else like her, no one else who could be so smart and so mean at the same time. No one else had ever made him feel like he didn't even matter to himself, like he had sacrificed a part of himself just to be near someone as special as Lauren.

She did not even say goodbye when they graduated high school and Mahito went straight into college while Lauren left town on a scholarship to study abroad in Europe with some distant cousins of hers whom she only got to know through birth announcements sent home by their mother. Mahito returned home after one semester studying biochemistry when his father fell ill and died soon thereafter from cancer. His mother could not afford the treatment for herself let alone Mahito's schooling, so Mahito decided that instead of giving up on his dreams he would work full-time and save up enough money for both of them to move overseas where the treatment would be cheaper and more readily available than back home.

Lauren came back to their hometown two years later wearing expensive clothes and jewelry too large for her skinny frame, laughing loudly with a group of well-dressed men who were drinking out of wine glasses and smoking cigars while they watched Mahito push a cart filled with his mother's medicine through the town square on his way home from work. Lauren looked straight past him as though he wasn't there while the men laughed loudly at something she said before getting into their cars and driving away, leaving Lauren alone in front of Mahito with nothing but an empty shopping bag by her side.

"What are you doing here?" Mahito asked cautiously after pushing his cart past her without stopping or looking at her directly. "Why are you wearing all those fancy clothes? You look ridiculous." The last thing he wanted was for Lauren to think she could get close to him again after she had abandoned him all those years ago, but standing there looking at her all made up like that made it hard for him to remember how much his life had changed since then and why any sort of relationship with Lauren now seemed impossible and probably wouldn't even be healthy for either of them anymore considering how far apart they had grown since then--Lauren's sharp tongue notwithstanding--and how little they had in common besides their shared childhood memories and very different lives now that they had grown up.

"Oh, hush," Lauren said dismissively as she started walking away from him again without paying attention to anything he said after realizing who it was speaking behind her back. "Look at yourself, poor little Maru! Is that really what you have become?"