Beyond Luna's Horizon

The moon was much smaller in real life than on TV.

The Lunar Embassy, a small building where the negotiations were to take place, was located at the south pole of the satellite. In front of it, a massive flag of the Earth hung from a tall pole, flapping in the light breeze that blew through the crater. It reminded me of the flags lining our streets, not that I had seen them in person in years. I wondered whether they still smelled of fresh rain and gasoline.

In front of the flag stood two figures. One was an older man, with a white beard and a cane in his right hand. He wore a long black robe and a peculiar silver hat with a pointy tip. The other was... different. He was short and stocky, like an ape or something. He carried no weapon that I could see, but his upper body was covered in thick brown fur and his face.. oh God his face! It looked almost human, except for those impossibly large ears sticking out from the sides of his head, and the glowing eyes reflecting my own image back at me.

He met my gaze and grinned. I felt a shiver run down my spine as he winked at me knowingly. Then he turned away, taking a few steps towards the flagpole and examined it carefully with one clawed hand from all angles, before turning back to us again to grin once more at us, as though amused by some joke we didn't understand. His features were so expressive despite their alien nature that it was easy to read his facial expressions, but what I saw did not give me any hint about what this creature meant by this behaviour. On top of that he seemed to radiate some kind of dark energy that made me feel uncomfortable despite his outwardly friendly disposition. It felt as though there was something wrong with him on some fundamental level, like he could snap at any second into violence and rage without reason or warning.

Still, he seemed considerably more relaxed than our hosts did - if anything, it looked like they were scared shitless by this creature's very presence! I could barely suppress a chuckle - after all these years of sending probes up here to study these guys their first encounter with one of their own is nothing less than hilarious! And yet... something about this whole situation felt horribly wrong to me somehow.

"So you're saying that this guy is part of your civilization? Like... your leader?" I asked our guide's representative - Father Paulus Maximus - while trying to gather my thoughts into something resembling coherence after this unexpected turn of events. "I mean... why would you send someone who looks like him to meet us if that's the case? Surely you can afford better clothes than... whatever is hanging around him.. right?"

Father Paulus did not look amused by my little joke - quite the opposite actually! "Mr Ambassador Androvich," he said solemnly without looking at me directly, "I assure you that things are not always what they seem."

"Yeah... I bet..." I replied dryly under my breath while staring at Luna's hairy companion with an open mouth for long seconds. My mind was racing at full speed through all possible scenarios but none of them made sense no matter what angle I looked at them from - this creature couldn't be one of them... could he? So then who was he really? Some kind of trained monkey perhaps? No... monkeys don't wear clothes... or robes either for that matter... Shit! What if they're just fucking with us!? Or worse - what if they're just pretending to be confused themselves to fuck with US!? Fuck! How are we supposed to know?! This is ridiculous!! We've got no way to independently verify anything these apes say! Fuck!!! Fuck!!! Fuck!!! Jesus Christ... how did we end up here again?! Suddenly I realized how much I missed Mother Russia and her serene assurances that everything would be fine if only we worked hard enough!

"May I ask what exactly you are doing here?" The furry creature suddenly spoke up while looking straight into my eyes with an intense gaze so piercing it felt as though he could see straight into my soul! A thousand thoughts raced through my mind as his words rang in my ears but for some reason every thought evaporated before it had time to fully form itself into words inside my head as soon as it hit its limits within my brain's boundary field so instead all I managed to say was: "Uh.. wh-what?" in an embarrassingly childish voice without even thinking about it consciously until too late when it was already too late because *too late* did you hear what *I* sai- *DAMN IT!!!!*

"We have been waiting for you for such a long time now..." The strange creature continued while staring straight into my eyes as though it could see right into my mind itself like some kind of telepathic superman! But still there was no malice or anger or even annoyance visible on his face just extreme curiosity mixed with genuine interest which made him appear more cute than scary by far! "...but there is no more time left now..." Before finishing its sentence it raised one arm upwards towards the sky so quickly that it took me a moment before realizing what exactly had happened when its clawed fingers grabbed onto something invisible floating above us which came crashing down onto us from above like an avalanche in its wake covering both Paulus' priestly figure and myself in ice cold snow which hardened instantly around us trapping us inside its cold embrace before we had time to react at all! It took several seconds before I realized what had happened - as soon as Luna had pointed towards the sky however realization dawned upon me instantly followed by utter shock & awe: He has summoned snow from outer space!! Holy motherfucking shit!! Why aren't we studying these guys seriously?! They're clearly further advanced than us technologically speaking!! At least now we know why Father Paulus isn't surprised by Luna's appearance whatsoever despite him looking like a monster trapped inside an ape suit!! Of course he must be used to seeing creatures like Luna every day since infancy!! And who am I kidding anyway?! Even though these guys look silly on TV they're clearly not fucking around here!! This whole thing must be staged somehow!! They must want something from us too - otherwise they wouldn't go through all this trouble just for funsies!! Shit!! This might get ugly real quick if we don't play our cards right!? What do they want? What do they expect from us? Maybe we should try playing along.. Maybe we should pretend being scared out of our minds just like Father Paulus does?! That might buy some time until we have figured out their true intentions behind this bizarre display! But.. wait a minute... There IS no Father Paulus anymore!! If this thing is able to freeze him solid then there's no way out for us anymore either!! This is bad news holy shit !! We should back off ASAP while there's still time left!! Only joking mister alien sir!! You can keep your powers over snow because frankly speaking we'd rather die today than give you any information about our technology or military secrets under any circumstances since there's no way in hell we'll ever let you conquer Earth unless forced otherwise by means beyond our control!!!