The Forbidden Adventure of Richard Scott

"I'm not really sure why I'll be the one doing it. I mean, if she's so great and all."

"Oh? Well, what do you think?"

Richard sat down on the chair in front of the desk. He was beginning to feel very self conscious about being interviewed by a woman he barely knew. Her name was Dr. Emma Rainsford, and from what he could tell, she didn't look a day over 35. She had long black hair parted at the side, and not a single lock seemed to stray away from her head. Richard guessed that she either spent too much time putting it up or just simply wasn't born with any hair on her head. Either way, it didn't matter because he wasn't here to critique her hairstyle.

Richard shifted in his seat for the umpteenth time since he started the interview. He tried to let out some of his nervous tension by changing positions but to no avail. The way Dr. Rainsford looked at him made him feel like an insect under a magnifying glass. Rather than feeling like an esteemed potential candidate, he felt more like a specimen to be inspected by someone who had no soul and less sense of tact. Richard couldn't help but wonder what would make such an elegant looking woman end up in this dusty old office awaiting some kid who thought dressing up as a superhero was cool enough to join an organization dedicated to saving the world.

"Well? Do you think you'll be able to do it?" asked Dr. Rainsford impatiently while tapping her pen against her clipboard. She tried to make it sound as nonchalant as possible but it came off as more condescending than anything else.

Richard shifted again in his seat and scratched his head before replying "Er... Well umm.. I can try my best I guess."

Dr Emma Rainsford scribbled something on her clipboard before turning back towards Richard "That's good news! We need people with your spunk and courage." She said with an uncharacteristically warm smile which did little to conceal a hint of sarcasm in her voice "Especially now considering our current circumstances."

Richard felt his heart skip a beat when she mentioned their 'current circumstances'. His mind raced back to exactly one year ago, when some asshole decided that shooting up a school was the best idea ever. He remembered where he was during that time: at home watching his brother attempt to build a snowman while their parents were out working overtime, hoping that they wouldn't have to see them again until morning because they were exhausted from another long day's work at the factory they both worked at and probably wished they had never gotten married in the first place and-- *blink*

"Uhh.. Mr Scott? Are you alright?" Dr Rainsford said rather loudly after seeing Richard zone out into space and stare blankly into nothingness for what seemed like an eternity.

Richard snapped back into reality "Y-yes! Yeah.. I'm fine.. What were we-- uhm talking about?"

  Dr Emma Rainsford sighed "We were talking about your abilities."

 "My abilities?"

 "Yes Mr Scott, your abilities." said Dr Rainsford as she began leafing through a thick folder labelled "Samantha Scott". After reading something inside of it, she looked up from her folder and back towards Richard "How do you feel about showing us your abilities?"

 Richard stared at the lady sitting across from him with wide eyes as if he just witnessed someone shoot 10 goals with their feet while simultaneously eating ice cream cones while juggling five balls between their knees on top of Mount Everest in winter wearing nothing but underwear made entirely out of money while also somehow carrying around an entire house on their back while whistling happy birthday in perfect harmony with all 12 members of Girls Generation all at once before finally finishing off this impressive feat by suddenly transforming into an alien who managed to squash himself into something no bigger than a thumbdrive which then proceeded to fly into space before exploding into millions of pieces only to reform itself into its original form meanwhile leaving behind a heap of dust on the ground which eventually reformed itself back into its original shape without any trace of its previous shape altered whatsoever before falling back onto its feet with two green legs attached instead of two human legs but for some odd reason ended up standing upright instead of flat on its face like most other creatures would do under normal circumstances without unearthing any sort of higher consciousness which most likely would've been impossible anyway if the events described above weren't taking place within the span of roughly two seconds which means that there's literally zero chance for anyone else except for Richard Scott himself (and possibly God) to witness these events even taking place amidst such extreme circumstances so no one will ever know whether or not these events actually took place or if Richard simply hallucinated this entire event due to lack of sleep caused by working double shifts at his job as well as dealing with problems involving his family situation over the past few days so we'll never know what happened during those two seconds but considering how unlikely it is for all these unlikely events described above to take place within those two seconds while simultaneously being unlikely in itself which makes them impossible regardless, we must conclude that Richard Scott is capable of performing amazing feats during difficult times despite having experienced exceedingly difficult times himself over the past few days so I guess he'll join us after all!"

  Richard stared at Dr Rainsford speechless as she concluded her monologue with her arms open wide enough to cover half the room behind her "So how does today sound? Shall we show them our abilities?"

 "W-what? Uhh.. sure.. I guess?" replied Richard meekly after finding his voice again.