Ratchet and Clank: Uncharted Nordic Lands

"Why are there no trolls here?"

"What do you mean no trolls, Clank? There's plenty of trolls here."

"There's not. And you know it. You're just talking to hear yourself talk."

"Look, kid. I know what I've seen. And I've seen plenty of trolls. Trolls as tall as a house, trolls with giant golden rings around their necks, trolls with beards so long they drag on the ground and have to be carried by a handful of men, trolls with..."

"Enough dad! I don't believe you. You've never even met a troll before you came here. All the trolls left when the ice melted."

"The what?"

"The ice melted, dad. It's been this way for centuries now."

"That's ridiculous!"

"It's their fault anyway," said Marcus from across the room. "The trolls were fooling around with the climate and it got all messed up." He looked over at Clank and said in his best troll voice "We're going to freeze your planet again, little man. We gonna make it real cold! As cold as my hat!" He fell back on the bed laughing and rolling around until he'd flicked his own hat off his head onto the floor and had to stop rolling because he was afraid to lose sight of it.

"Your son has Troll Residual Disorder," said Mr. Blacky with a smile on his face "He needs therapy."

"I'm not crazy!" yelled Marcus from across the room.

"Billy! Get over here!" called Mr. Blacky out into the hallway. A few seconds later Billy came running into his bedroom carrying a pair of oversized scissors in one hand and a basket full of brightly colored material in the other. Billy dropped the basket down next to Marcus and started cutting some of the material into small squares while Mr. Blacky finished putting together his latest invention: A set of tangle-free headphones that look like they came straight out of an 80s music video (complete with neon colors). "These are for you," said Mr. Blacky as he put them on Marcus' head, who then immediately stopped paying attention to Billy and went back to looking at himself in the mirror with wide eyes and open mouth while he turned his head side to side, trying to see if he could see where they ended or if they disappeared altogether behind his ears or something like that. By now Billy had cut more than enough material into squares for him to make a full-length dress for Marcus and was currently folding it all up nice and neat on top of itself in order to make him put it on as soon as possible so that he could finish making sure it fit correctly (it did). Before Billy could finish though, Mr. Blacky walked over to him and handed him a small metal rod about half a foot long which had two pieces of metal sticking out from both ends along with three buttons between two thin wires protruding from one end of both pieces of metal (one red button, one blue button, one green button) while another wire extended out from each piece of metal towards opposite sides (red wire towards right side, blue wire towards left side). "Here," he said as he handed Billy this device after everyone had finally stopped staring at Marcus' new outfit "This is for you too." Billy took it without saying anything but almost immediately started messing around with one end after he had finished folding up all the pieces of material (which he hadn't quite finished yet) because it made some really cool noises that sounded like something between an engine starting up and someone trying to pick up a radio station playing really far away so that they can hear people talking about something exciting but instead all they hear is static on their end which is why they keep turning up the volume until suddenly there's this voice crackling out at them asking them why they're listening in on their transmission only for them not to understand what she means because she's speaking in some weird language that sounds like English but doesn't sound like English at all which is how English would sound if English were spoken by aliens pretending they were humans while they were actually secretly speaking in their own language but because these people are so used to thinking they're listening in on an American-English radio broadcast they think she was speaking English which is why when nobody else seems to understand what she's saying she starts getting frustrated until finally someone in another part of whatever ship/space station/whatever she's talking from tells her she's speaking Russian which is what her transmission is actually being transmitted through but then she realizes that nobody else knows this because she doesn't know it herself unless whoever told her this also knew that her transmission was being transmitted through Russian which means that whoever told her this probably wasn't speaking Russian themselves otherwise why would they tell her this? Or maybe whoever told her this always speaks Russian even when speaking English? Anyway, she keeps going like this for another 5 minutes until finally somebody tells her to shut up