Berlin Interlude

"Okay, so..." I say as I cue up the video. "We had these two guys walk into our studio in Berlin and we thought they were tourists."

"Who?" Tom asks, looking utterly confused.

"I don't know, some American tourists. Americans who don't speak German."

"I see," Tom says, looking a little more interested. "Did you talk to them?"

"No, not really. They kind of just hung around and watched us work for a while and then left without saying much of anything."

"And that's where the film came from? The two guys just kind of stood there for a while?" Robert asks, his face twisted up with confusion. He looks as though he doesn't believe me at all.

"No," I say, getting a little defensive. "We didn't make the film until after they left."

A look of realization crosses his face. "Ohhhhhhh! Right! Of fucking course!" he says excitedly.

Tom just stares back and forth between the two of us like he's observing an alien mating ritual. Robert grabs at my phone and starts to play the video. It shows us working on a scene of Armin being chased by a pair of Nazis in full regalia. We've already cut out most of the dialogue and replaced it with subtitles, but it's still pretty hard to understand what's going on with all the screaming and shouting in English. It cuts to black suddenly as Tom stops it. He turns the screen towards me and gives me a look that says 'is this what you're talking about?'

Armin is standing outside on the sidewalk next to Robert's trailer. He has his hands in his pockets and he's leaning up against a lamppost reading something off of his phone. Robert steps out of his trailer dressed in full Nazi regalia and shouts something angrily at Armin, who jumps back startled before dropping his phone and running away in terror down the street with Robert hot on his heels. A few other cast members stop what they're doing to watch them run by, laughing hysterically at their antics. Armin runs right past where we're standing filming them and drops his phone again as he throws himself over a railing that separates us from some train tracks behind us.

Robert comes to an abrupt halt when he realizes what Armin has done and looks back at us with a smile on his face that says 'Come on! That was too easy!' It dawns on him what Armin has done as he approaches the railing cautiously, looking down at the trains speeding along below him in disbelief before turning around to yell at one of the cast members who was watching him run by earlier to call emergency services because Armin has jumped into traffic or something equally terrifying (like jumping off of a diving board). He closes the gate behind him before walking over to where we are standing around watching him go through this whole act with looks ranging from amusement to confusion. He takes out his phone and texts someone telling them that he needs their help because Armin ran into traffic or something equally terrifying (like swimming with sharks).

Robert slumps down onto one knee onto one of the concrete blocks that prevents cars from driving down onto the tracks before pulling out a cigarette from inside his uniform coat pocket (which is also inside another uniform coat pocket) and asking if anyone could light it for him because his arms are full carrying these heavy clothes which is why he can't light it himself (as if!). We all have looks on our faces that say 'uh...sure..' until Tom gets one of the crew members to light it for him whose expression says 'wow...I'm getting paid for this shit...' Once lit, Robert takes a deep drag out of it before handing it over to Armin who hasn't realized yet that Robert caught up to him or that he's even here now so close beside him smoking a cigarette at an abandoned train station clearly not meant for civilians trying to avoid Nazi officers bent on hunting them down like dogs (and literally killing them).

Robert touches Armin gently on his shoulder which makes him jump out of his skin as he spins around holding up both hands defensively as if preparing to punch someone square in their jaw if need be before realizing that it is only Robert there standing beside him smoking a cigarette (because apparently Nazis smoke cigarettes, too). Robert offers him the cigarette which Armin takes gratefully staring at Robert in awe-struck silence as if waiting for him to say something profound about life or whatever is going through his head which really isn't very interesting considering how boring all this conversation is turning out so far...wait...what? What did I just hear? Did someone just say boring? BORING?!? No one ever told me my movie would be boring...what was I thinking? Did I really think people would actually want to watch this shit? Manfred you idiot...this could ruin your career...