Travels with Gabriel: A Loveless Affair

The night had started out fine. Dinner, drinks, and a movie. As the lights dimmed, she leaned into me with the intent of staying there for the whole film. I wasn't complaining. When we left the theater, I offered her my hand as she exited the row and we walked out together.

We said goodbye at her door and it felt like it was going to be one of those nights that lead to something more. We made eye contact, she smiled and bit her bottom lip, and I leaned in to kiss her when she stopped me abruptly with a hand on my chest.

"I'm sorry," she began. "But I just got out of a relationship and I don't think I'm ready."

She didn't need to say anything else after that. I knew exactly where this was going and nodded my head in understanding. She shut the door and I turned around to walk back to my car which was parked directly across from hers. My phone rang as soon as I closed my car door and without looking at the screen, answered it with a greeting that was too cheerful for the situation at hand.

"Hey baby!" my girl's mother responded cheerfully on the other end of the line. "How did your date go?"

My heart sank at the question. With all that had happened between us over time, there was no way for me to hide how it was going from her mom who insisted on calling me "baby" even though we were no longer an item. It now seemed like such a small thing at that moment but it was something that always annoyed me whenever we'd see each other because it made me feel like she didn't take me seriously as a potential daughter-in-law. But right then, it would've been nice if things could be simple again between us two years ago when it didn't matter who called whom what and life wasn't so complicated by this random decision of hers to break up with me one day only to take me back again another day by embracing me in front of everyone in our church before walking off towards the exit with her new boyfriend arm-in-arm on Easter Sunday morning two weeks later after he'd spent most of his time there staring daggers through me whenever he caught sight of me during service despite several attempts at talking things through with him which ultimately led nowhere because he refused to listen or take any responsibility for what had transpired between us behind closed doors six months prior to their sudden relationship status announcement where they stood holding hands during worship singing along with everyone else while smiling ear-to-ear from the front pew seat they shared together throughout service which had been mine each Sunday morning since God knows when until that fateful Sunday morning two weeks ago when everything changed between us forever when she decided to give up everything for him including our potential future together which never included him or anyone else besides each other until this very moment in time where she told me at her apartment door that maybe what we had wasn't quite right after all and maybe she wasn't quite ready yet either but maybe someday down the road when they're married and have kids someday down the road however far down that road may be down the road but not tonight please not tonight not tonight because tonight is not our night tonight is not our night no tonight is not our night anymore tonight is not our night anymore...