Professor Melody's Snarky Journey Through the Stars

"For the love of fuck, please tell me you've been to class today."

I raised an eyebrow at the speaker. "I'm sorry?"

"Normally when a professor warns their students against skipping classes, it's because they're worried about us not passing the final exams. However, in this case I'm the only one who is going to have a chance to pass. Everyone else here has already graduated and moved on with their lives." The man gestured to the group of people around him, who looked back at me stoically.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm sure you'll all do fine Mr...?"

"Mr. Tails," he said proudly. "The name is Mr. Tails." He puffed out his chest, making his breasts even bigger than they already were. He glanced behind him at a small white cat with a green bow tie who I assumed was his girlfriend. She put down her phone and smiled smugly at him.

"Anyway, we are here to ask you for an advance on our paychecks so we can order pizza before we leave for our next mission."

I stared at him for a moment before responding, "you know that I'm not your boss right?" I asked, trying to make it sound like a real question rather than a sarcastic statement. "I am your college professor and as such I have no say in what you get paid or how much time off you receive."

A blonde woman standing behind Mr Tails spoke up this time. "Professor Melody, surely even you have some pull with the university board? We are going on a very important mission that could settle the debate over whether or not intelligent life exists outside of Earth! Surely they would want us to take care of ourselves!" She crossed her arms angrily and tapped her foot impatiently.

"Yes well that's why they...put me in charge..." I sighed again and rubbed my temples hard enough to make myself dizzy. "Now if you don't mind, I need to go find some aspirin." With that I turned and started walking towards my office. As I walked away from them I heard them start talking among themselves again until suddenly there was a yell from behind me that made me jump out of my skin and almost fall flat on my face.

"WAIT!" It was Mr Tails again. He ran over to me, skidding across the floor on his very flat feet until he reached me and slowed down so he could walk beside me instead of run into me like he wanted to do earlier when he first saw me enter the room.

"Well?" I asked impatiently as we walked back together towards my office ignoring everyone else who had followed us out there in curiosity when Mr Tails yelled after me earlier.

He took a deep breath as if he was debating something very important in his mind before finally saying, "well are you doing anything tonight? Like...something...couple-like?" He blushed slightly as he said this last part which made my own cheeks warm slightly in response although I wasn't quite sure why since we weren't even dating yet and we hadn't even kissed either but those thoughts didn't seem to bother me too much so maybe things were different between humans and wolves or cats or whatever for other species since none of them seemed bothered by what was going on at all except for maybe Ms Bow Tie who kept looking up from her phone every now and then with a look which seemed oddly like jealousy but I decided that it probably couldn't be helped since she and Mr Tails had only been dating for two days while everyone else here had been dating each other for years and there really wasn't anyone else who could be jealous of them except maybe Miss Blonde Woman but she seemed too angry to be jealous anyway so it didn't really matter anymore anyway so why was I still thinking about it? Damn human brain always thinking about weird things! Focus Melody focus! Besides it's not like anything serious could happen between someone like Mr Tails and someone like me anyway...right? It's just dinner! Dinner isn't that bad! It's not like we're going steady or anything! So why is this bothering me so much? Why am I getting anxious just thinking about it? Maybe it's because dinners usually lead up to other things between couples...that thought alone caused my heart beat faster despite my mind telling it otherwise but then again Mr Tails is kind of attractive even though his personality can be annoying sometimes especially when he starts bragging about himself which he does more often now that he has breasts but still! A dinner date doesn't mean anything serious! It's just dinner! And besides we're both adults here so why shouldn't we be able to go out for dinner without being judged by everyone else who works here? After all it's not like any problems will arise from this day date anyway because everything will probably work out perfectly fine between us two perfect adults without any drama whatsoever so why am I getting so worked up about this?