Umberto's Undying Love

"You know, I can't really say that I miss being married," Umberto Wellis said. He was a blunt man, not afraid to speak his mind. "There was just no point in it."

He took a sip of his whiskey and continued, "They were good times, but I never understood why we needed to get married. That's not how things were done back then. We were happy together. Why did we need a piece of paper to tell us that? Things are different now, though."

"Dad?" His daughter, Dasha, looked at him with big brown eyes. She was eight years old and had inherited her father's dark hair and olive skin tone. She looked so much like her mother. "Are you going to get married again?"

Umberto shook his head and shrugged. "No way. If a marriage lasts more than twenty years, it's probably cursed." He laughed at his own joke and took another swig from the glass in his hand. The bottle of whiskey was nearly empty by now - he'd been drinking for over an hour - but he didn't care.

"But dad," Dasha continued as she leaned closer to him across the table, "I want you to be married again." Her voice was low, barely above a whisper, as she looked down at the tabletop in front of her. Rosa was sitting next to her sister on the bench; the two girls' shoulders were touching as they both stared down at their empty plates. They had been eating quietly for several minutes without making a single sound while their father had talked and drank without stopping. It was unusual behavior for them - Rosa usually didn't hold her tongue for very long - but neither girl wanted to interrupt him or acknowledge that there was something wrong with him tonight. He knew something was wrong with himself; he could feel it deep inside of his chest, like a sickness clawing away at him from within. The only thing that made it bearable was the whiskey on his breath and the warmth he felt in his stomach whenever he took another drink from the bottle or glass in his hand.

Umberto set his glass down on the table next to him hard enough to make Dasha jump slightly in her seat next to him and look up at him with wide eyes full of fear instead of sadness. He smiled nervously and reached out to put one hand on top of each of their heads before running his fingers through their hair slowly from the crowns all the way down to where their ponytails started halfway down their backsides. He watched them closely and ran one thumb along each cheekbone before lifting each chin up gently so that he could look into their faces once again.

"I love you girls," he whispered hoarsely as he looked them in their eyes one last time before kissing each of them gently on top of the head once again; he thought about kissing them on the lips this time but decided against it, "but I don't think I'm fit company right now." He moved away from them quickly so they wouldn't be able to see how wet his glasses were beginning to get from tears rolling down his cheeks as he stood up.

"No, dad!" Dasha shrieked as she jumped up out of her chair and raced over behind Umberto's back where he couldn't see her; Rosa followed after her sister because she didn't know what else she should do if they weren't going to leave together when they normally always did when they left the kitchen after dinner or lunch together during the day when they lived with mommy back when things were normal before she left daddy behind without saying goodbye when she left them all alone not knowing what would happen next or if they would ever see mommy again but hoping that everything would work out somehow even though it never did whenever something bad happened so far even though she didn't know why mommy left now or if they did anything wrong because she thought they had tried really hard not to do anything wrong except maybe making too much noise and keeping daddy up late at night sometimes when they couldn't sleep because they were scared and wanted daddy beside them sleeping in bed with them like mommy used to do until one night mummy went away forever and never came back no matter how many times daddy called her or sent letters or asked everyone he knew if anyone knew where she went or how she could get back home today if she wanted too because tonight is special because it is Dasha's birthday which means that Dasha must be ten-years-old today which is also very special for Rosa because it means that today is also Rosa's birthday which makes both of them eleven-years-old today which means that mommy hasn't been gone for three hundred thirty three days since mommy left yesterday which makes it almost exactly six months since mommy went away even though it doesn't feel like six months have passed since mommy has been gone because nothing ever feels like enough time has passed since someone you love is gone forever without a trace without leaving any clue behind about where they might have gone or why they left without saying goodbye except leaving behind a note saying sorry which isn't enough not even close enough not nearly enough not ever but especially not tonight especially not now because tonight is special because every day seems special these days even though nothing feels special anymore because nothing feels good anymore even though things used to feel good lots of times lots of years ago when dad wasn't sad all the time even though he wasn't sad all the time back then either although he wasn't sad all day long every day like now these days especially when things are bad but not bad like this where nothing feels good anymore ever again because nothing has felt good since mommy went away except maybe when dad hugs us close sometimes when we're lying in bed getting ready for bed at night before we go to sleep tonight too because tonight is special after all because today is our birthdays which means that we are eleven years old today which makes me older than dasha today which means that I am finally old enough choose who gets top bunk tonight cuz dasha always gets top bunk every night we don't choose who gets bottom bunk instead cuz dasha can climb up easier than me so she gets bottom bunk every night except tonight because tonight is my turn cuz I am eleven-years-old today which makes me older than dasha who is only ten-years-old today but still younger than me who is eleven-years-old today even though dasha will be twelve soon after my birthday which means that I will have spent more time being eleven years old than dasha has spent being ten years old but dasha will be twelve very soon after my birthday so maybe my birthday won't feel special anymore soon but I don't care cuz my room doesn't feel special anymore either like other rooms used too before everything changed forever after mommy went away forever without saying goodbye except leaving behind a note saying sorry which isn't enough not even close enough not nearly enough not ever anyway especially not tonight especially not now because tonight is special because every day seems special these days even though nothing feels special anymore because nothing feels good anymore even though things used to feel good lots of times lots of years ago when dad wasn't sad all the time even though he wasn't sad all the time back then either although he wasn't sad all day long every day like now these days especially when things are bad but not bad like this where nothing feels good anymore ever again because nothing has felt good since mommy went away except maybe when dad hugs us close sometimes when we're lying in bed getting ready for bed at night before we go to sleep tonight too..."