Franco and Linchingford's Martian Misadventures

The air was dry, the sun boiled my head, and the soil was red. "At least I wasn't eaten by a desert monster."

As I stood up to dust myself off, I realized something. "I have forgotten so much of my life!" My name used to be Francisco. But then I forgot it. I forgot everything. The only thing that has not been erased is a vague recollection of marrying Melissa Linchingford. And that's probably because she's here with me right now.

Melissa was tending to her hair in the reflection of the rover's window. She was a sight for sore eyes, which is good because our eyes were very sore after staring at all that red soil for an hour. Her hair was pristine and shiny, as if she had just stepped out of a salon instead of traversing through a dusty Mars for an hour. "Francisco honey! Look what I found!"

She turned around holding a small device that looked like it came from ancient Egypt...or somewhere else where people wore extravagant hats and ate bugs for dessert. It had two buttons: one blue and one green. And then there were some indecipherable words written on it, probably in Egyptian or Martian or whatever language the aliens spoke before they left, leaving us stranded alone in this world. "That looks like something we should take with us," I said as I grabbed it from her hands and stuffed it in my pocket.

"Are you ready?" she asked as she smoothed out her skirt, bent down to pick up her purse, and straightened her hat. "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry," I replied with a smile as we exited the rover, locking it behind us. We tried to go back home once but we ended up here instead, so now we don't even know where home is anymore because we literally can't find our way back there no matter how many times we've tried. So now, whenever we feel hungry, we just take turns turning on the rover's engine and driving somewhere until we see food or something worth taking with us like this crazy hat-looking device that Melissa found earlier today in our hotel room in Cairo (which isn't supposed to be anywhere near Mars but somehow is).

Melissa linked arms with me while batting away flies with a bamboo fan and humming a tune as we made our way across a red sand dune toward the glowing lights of Cairo...or whatever town surrounded by red sand dunes that's next door to wherever it is that we landed last night after trying to go back home again. "You know what would make this place better?" she asked as she plucked an orange off of the tree that grew out of the ground nearby and took a bite out of it before tossing the peel aside and licking her fingers clean afterwards. "A little bit more water."

I shrugged my shoulders as I opened my bag to retrieve my own orange from within before taking a bite out of it too, mumbling through a mouthful of fruit, "How about some OJ? You really hate being thirsty."