Jackie's Journey to Belonging

"You're a what?" Elle asked, her eyes wide and mouth open. She sat cross-legged on Jackie's bed, the one she had slept in since she was five years old. It still smelled like her.

Jackie had always likened it to the smell of home. Not that she had ever been homeless or anything. Her parents just loved her so much that they treated her like their little princess every day of her life. Even now, as she started to feel anger bubbling up inside of her, she couldn’t help but remember how special and loved she had always felt in this room. How even the carpet, which was now covered by an old rug by the door, had always been white and clean, no matter how many times they were supposed to vacuum it.

But today she could care less about how immaculate the room was. This was her sanctuary. Her safe place. And yet here she was, sitting on the edge of her bed and looking at Elle with tears in her eyes while Elle stared back with shock across her face.

“Jackie! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jackie shook her head and wiped away a tear before it fell from her eye down to stain the collar of her shirt. She thought about all those times when Elle came over for sleepovers and finally settled on one time in particular: when they first met at school freshman year, after classes had already let out for the day and they were both walking towards their lockers to put their bags away for the weekend. They saw each other and immediately recognized each other from middle school at Powers Middle School, where Jackie had been homeschooled for three years between sixth and eighth grade due to anxiety issues that got worse every time she began a new school year – which is why she needed to be homeschooled again during high school – until she found a way to handle it on her own through therapy sessions and medication that kept it under control.

Elle had smiled at Jackie then, probably because they used to sit next to each other at recess during third grade and fourth grade when they could play tetherball together but also talk about makeup or video games or whatever else interested them most at the time (and even some things that didn’t) while they were waiting for recess to end – because Miss Wilkes would get mad if they played more than two games – so they always needed something else to keep them busy instead of playing games during lunchtime or any other time besides recess until finally there wasn't enough time left in the day for any other activity except getting ready for bed or showering or whatever else needed to be done before going home to sleep for the night.

And then somehow Elle already knew Jackie was transgender before meeting up with Jackie after school one day last spring, because Elle told Jackie right away after recognizing each other later on over Spring Break when Elle went on vacation with her family overseas. But since nobody ever knew otherwise besides Jackie herself (and all those therapists who helped get rid of all those medical issues related to being intersex), nobody ever talked about it either, not even when Elle told everyone else once she got back into town after Spring Break ended: “Jackie is transgender! I can’t believe you didn’t know!"

It took some convincing, but eventually, everyone started talking again just like nothing changed between Elle and Jackie. Despite all those talks being ignored by other people outside of conversation between Elle and Jackie themselves (which happened often enough at first), no one else ever questioned anything else between Elle and Jackie, not their choice of clothing style or personal opinions. So, finally, nothing changed between them except how much better they understood each other's lives compared with before they knew each other's secrets, which meant more than anything else in the world, knowing that both Elle and Jackie would never be alone again no matter what happened.