Manford Meets Gal Gadot

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Manford, you're a fucking idiot. You've been a fucking idiot your whole life. What were you thinking?

Well, to start with, I was thinking how exactly I could get the job of washing Gal Gadot's luxurious hair. Then my mind started wandering and I was thinking, why couldn't I do that? I mean, I was already here. And, who knows? Maybe she'd be willing to pay me more than just this room and board. In fact, maybe she'd hire me on as her personal attendant. That would be nice.

My ex-wife had always wanted to hire someone to clean up after us, but since we were down on our luck, we couldn't afford it. So that's what I did for a living. I cleaned houses after people moved out or died in them or whatever. It wasn't the best job in the world, but there weren't a lot of options for someone like me with no skills and no education and no money for training or college. This one time I left my wallet at home and didn't have enough cash to buy something at the 7-11 so they called the cops on me and next thing you know they're trying to arrest me for shoplifting and resisting arrest and all kinds of crap even though I told them over and over again it was just a mistake and they kept going on about how they didn't want to see me in their town again so I guess it's thanks to that little run in with the law that I wound up here in Hell instead of back on Earth with my wife and kids. Anyway, that was the last time I was ever arrested or anything like that. I'm just not stupid anymore.

I walk through the door into Gal Gadot's bedroom carrying an armful of towels fresh from the laundry room where they dumped all my stuff yesterday afternoon when they showed up with some food for me and told me where everything was and said something about "the boss" needing help getting ready for her day tomorrow so here goes nothing!

Gal Gadot is only half-dressed for bed when she sees me standing nervously in the doorway clutching my pile of clean towels she scowls at me from her spot on the floor where she's sitting by her open closet staring into it while slowly brushing her long black hair with a pair of silver-handled brushes one in each hand moving slowly up its length from root to tip then back again stroking its thick length gently smoothing out any tangles making sure it will be silky smooth tomorrow when she wears it down over her shoulders allowing people to admire its length as it trails behind her as she strides imperiously across the platform in front of all those fools during the morning assembly giving them some kind of lecture or other about how if they don't get their acts together soon then she'll be forced (forced!) to take matters into her own hands (of course she'll say "take matters into my own hands" because that makes it sound like it's a good thing) so she'll be able to punish them when she sees fit without having to wait for Godfrey or anyone else to do it for her which will make the entire point very clear (she'll say "make the point very clear" because this is Hell so what else are we supposed to think?) while also making herself look even more powerful which is exactly what Gal Gadot needs right now (she'll say "right now" because this is Hell) especially since Godfrey's been away taking care of some other business and can't be here right this minute looking out for his interests so if he doesn't want his fun spoiled by that meddling Manford he'd better get back here ASAP and fix things before they get out of hand but he'd better hurry because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned so...

And then suddenly Gal Gadot stops talking mid-sentence just as soon as she realizes someone is standing there watching her brush her hair staring at her sitting there on the floor dressed only in a plain white cotton nightgown brushing her long black hair imagining how wonderful it would be if he could do this instead whispering words of love into her ear wishing he had the courage to tell her all those things instead feeling himself blush with shame wondering if maybe he should just leave before Gal Gadot notices him standing there watching admiring how beautiful she looks today admiring how beautiful she always looks wishing he had been smart enough or brave enough or something enough anything enough anything enough anything enough anything enough anything enough anything anything ANYTHING ENOUGH TO STOP HER FROM TAKING HIS WIFE AND HIS KIDS AWAY FROM HIM AND CHAINING THEM TO THE GROUND FOR SIX HUNDRED YEARS TOO LONG A TIME FOR ALL OF THEM TO PAY FOR HIS SINS WHICH ARE MANY AND WELL DOCUMENTED AND CERTAINLY NOT UNDESERVED !!!