Savoring Shadows

It was the summer of my 15th year, and I was determined to make it count. I had no idea what that meant, but I knew college was in my future and I had made a silent vow to never let another day pass without doing something that would make me better.

I know what you’re thinking when you hear that: great life philosophy, asshole. But there was nothing else in my head when I made it, not even the slightest hint of a thought, other than I was going to make the most out of this summer and the experiences I had waiting for me down the road.

It wasn’t as if mom and dad weren’t supportive – they were making a torturous effort to be more involved in our lives with seemingly everything they did. For example, they bought us all new phones so we could keep each other up-to-date on our whereabouts at any given time (I wanted an iPhone 7 but ended up with an LG G4, remember these?). They bought us all new clothes that weren’t from Wal-Mart (I got some really nice button-downs for work and some old man jeans for after work). And worst of all, they bought us health insurance because apparently non-emergency visits to the doctor are a thing now (they weren’t for me before because I never got sick). These are just a few examples but there were so many small things too – like mom and dad getting us new bedspreads if we didn’t like the colors anymore or dad buying us more expensive headphones because he felt bad about always taking ours. It was annoying how much they cared about us now, especially since Beth and Jessica started teasing me about it constantly.

But their efforts paid off because I was here at the airport with Beth and Jessica ready to travel across the country to visit grandpa and grandma in Nevada – one last family vacation before we all went our separate ways. Mom said she would meet up with us later on once she got her stuff straightened out back home. It was probably just as well anyway because she despised traveling – she always said “if you don’t live here then you can’t come here.” But damn if that woman wasn’t a trooper for making it happen for her kids every time we asked her to take us someplace fun.

So here we were at JFK waiting in line for security check points when Beth gives me her best attitude face after seeing my passport in my hand. She says “oh yeah, this is gonna be so much fun! A whole week with them! You know how much I hate them right?! Like everyone else does! Just ask Jess! Jess? Jess! Jess!! Jess!!! So much fun!”

Jessica couldn’t hear her over all the chatter around us but she looked visibly annoyed by Beth as soon as she turned around and saw her standing next to me holding her passport in one hand while looking at her phone with the other. When she finally looked up at Beth she snapped “what?! What is it?! Jeez Louise! You didn’t just wake up on the wrong side of your bed this morning did you? We just got here! What do you want already?! I don’t feel like hearing your shit right now okay? This place smells weird enough already without you adding more garbage to it so give it a rest! Jesus Christ! Shut up already would you!? Jesus Christ! Can you stop being such a cunt for five fucking minutes?! Jesus Christ...” And then Beth starts laughing hysterically which makes Jessica turn back around immediately and complain about something else again. And then Beth gets bored of teasing Jessica and turns around and does it to me instead which makes me laugh too, until Jessica turns around again when Beth starts doing her goofy impression of Grandma Smith which makes Beth stop immediately because no one likes Grandma Smith except Grandma Smith apparently.

This is what it has been like all summer between us three sisters – two years apart who have known each other their entire lives fighting over every little thing including who knows how many times whose boyfriend farted in front of whom during dinner last night (it was both of them apparently). It hasn’t been easy dealing with this constant bickering between them lately but then again neither has getting into college or having parents who care about your well-being or any of the other challenges we have all faced together so far in life (which seems like all of them) so somehow we manage every time without even talking about doing it at all until suddenly one day we look back over our shoulders and realize something amazing has happened along the way thanks to nothing more than just existing together on this planet earth. Because sometimes that is enough – just being there for someone else unconditionally no matter how hard or ridiculous it might be at first is always worth fighting through those tough times together because eventually you realize that fighting through those tough times together makes everything so much easier afterwards. And maybe even makes everything seem funny too once we look back on them later on - annoying as they were while they were happening.

As we boarded the plane to Nevada, I couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement mixed with a tinge of nostalgia. This would be the last family vacation before we all went our separate ways in pursuit of our dreams. The bustling atmosphere of the airport faded away as the plane ascended, and soon we were soaring among the clouds, detached from the world below.

As we settled into our seats, I glanced over at Beth and Jessica, who were engrossed in their respective activities – Beth with her headphones on, lost in the melodies of her favorite songs, and Jessica with her nose buried in a novel. The tension from earlier seemed to dissipate, replaced by a quiet harmony between us.

With a sigh, I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes, allowing myself to be transported back in time to the summers spent with grandpa and grandma in Nevada. Oh, how I missed those dusty desert roads, the barren landscape, and the warm, welcoming embrace of our grandparents. The memories flooded my mind like a technicolor movie, each scene etching itself deeper into my heart.

I remembered the endless adventures we went on – hiking through Red Rock Canyon, exploring the shimmering depths of Lake Tahoe, and even venturing into the mesmerizing lights of Las Vegas. Every experience was unique, vibrant, and filled with the love and laughter that could only come from being a part of something bigger than ourselves.

As the plane touched down in Nevada, I felt a familiar sense of excitement bubble up inside me. Grandpa and grandma were waiting for us at the airport, their faces beaming with joy as they enveloped us in warm hugs. Their love was like a sanctuary, a refuge from the chaos and uncertainty of the outside world.

During our time together, we reveled in the simple pleasures of life. We sat on the porch swing, listening to grandpa's stories that seemed to transport us to a bygone era. We helped grandma tend to her prized rose garden, inhaling the sweet fragrance that always lingered in the air. And we savored every mouthful of the delicious home-cooked meals that made our taste buds dance with delight.

But amidst the laughter and togetherness, there were also moments of quiet reflection. As the sun set over the vast desert, we would gather around the fire pit, the crackling flames casting dancing shadows on our faces. It was during these moments that grandpa would share his wisdom with us, imparting lessons that could only be learned through years of living.

One evening, as we sat huddled together, grandpa spoke of the importance of family bonds. He reminded us that life is full of challenges and hardships, but it is in our shared experiences and unconditional love for one another that we find solace and strength. He encouraged us to cherish every moment, for time passes swiftly, and the people we hold dear may one day be gone.

As I listened to his words, it struck me just how fleeting life truly is. The realization washed over me like a wave, creating a newfound sense of gratitude and purpose within me. I made a silent vow to fully embrace this summer, to make every moment count, and to create memories that would withstand the test of time.

In the days that followed, we embarked on countless adventures, relishing in the joy of being together. We climbed mountains, conquering our fears and pushing ourselves to new heights. We explored the vast wonders of the desert, dazzled by the beauty that surrounded us. And we laughed, oh how we laughed until our bellies ached and our faces were sore from smiling.

On the final night of our trip, as we gathered around the dinner table, I couldn't help but feel a bittersweet pang in my heart. The time had come to say our goodbyes, to bid farewell to the oasis of love and connection that Nevada had become for us. Tears welled up in my eyes as I hugged grandpa and grandma, my heart overflowing with gratitude.

As the plane lifted off the runway, carrying us back home, I knew that this summer had changed me in ways I could never fully articulate. It was more than just a collection of moments, more than the adventures and laughter. It was a lesson in the power of love, a reminder that true strength lies not in individual achievements, but rather in the bonds we forge with one another.

And so, with a newfound understanding of what it truly means to make every day count, I stepped into the unknown future. The world was waiting, brimming with endless possibilities, and armed with the love and support of my family, I was ready to face whatever awaited me with open arms.

The summer of my 15th year was not just a season of mere moments, but a transformative journey that shaped the person I was becoming. And as I looked out of the airplane window, gazing at the vast expanse of sky, I felt a wave of excitement wash over me. There was so much more to discover, so much more to experience, and I was determined to keep making every day count, no matter where life took me.