'Thick' Love: Li's Daring Text Message to Find Joy.

I texted her first.

'Hi, Angie. It's Song Li. I'm single and you're gorgeous.'

I was unsure if she'd receive my message, but I had to try. She was a beautiful woman, with an exotic look and a charming personality. We met at the grand opening of a local club, and we danced and laughed into the early hours of the morning. We left together, and she invited me back to her place. Her bedroom walls were painted a deep scarlet red and her bed sheets were black silk; the room felt like it was bathed in blood. The only light came from flickering candles on a nightstand along one wall.

We kissed for several minutes, then she pulled away and told me to put out all of the candles except one. She lit them herself, then she took off her dress and let it fall on the floor. She stood there before me in just black lace panties, stockings and high heels.

"Turn out the lights," she said. "And kiss me."

I did as she said, until I could feel her body pressed against mine in the darkness. I could smell her hair and feel her warm breath against my skin as we kissed again, this time more passionately than before. After we made love in that dark room, we lay in each other's arms until dawn broke through her windows. We talked about our lives, our dreams, our pasts - anything and everything but politics or history - until finally exhaustion took hold of us both and we fell asleep holding each other tight.

But now I am alone again without her in my life. And though we did not discuss where it would lead between us beyond that first night together, I still missed her terribly.

The message flashed across my phone screen: 'Hi back! So glad to hear from you :) Are you free tonight?'

I'd been waiting for such a reply from Angie for weeks now - ever since she left my apartment after that fateful night together when everything seemed so perfect between us - but I couldn't believe she had finally responded to me! Hope surged through my heart like wildfire as I held the phone close to my face, close enough that I could almost feel her warmth radiating from it through my fingertips...but then reality set in when I remembered how far apart we were...wherever she was on Earth right now - whether it be twenty feet or two thousand miles - it would take time for her response to reach me here...in China some 2200 years ago! Yes, that would change soon enough once we transition into the Age of Steam...but right now? Nothing has changed; neither politics nor technology have progressed so much as an inch since the end of Qin Shi Huang's reign 400 years ago...and even though he is long dead now (as a result of his own excesses) China remains a vast empire under Han rule while its neighbors are occupied by barbarian tribes paying tribute to the Emperor...it would be another one hundred years before Rome finally falls under barbarian rule itself...and two hundred years after that before Europe emerges from behind its borders and starts spreading outward around the world at last! But for now? For now it is still just as difficult for me to reach Angie as it ever was; wishing for better times will do nothing to alter that reality no matter how much hope burns within my heart!

But then hope flared anew within me like wildfire when another message blinked on my screen not five minutes later: 'I can make tonight work! Where shall we meet?'

I stared at those words longingly for many long moments, trying to figure out where I could possibly take her...for while most places in Chang'an are very safe - especially during daylight hours - there are certain areas which are best avoided at night...places where neither man nor woman should travel alone at all! But then it occurred to me: what if she traveled with me? With just a few changes of clothes and toiletries stowed inside my satchel along with my wallet and passport, there would be no reason why we couldn't spend the evening together somewhere in town...and if things went well between us? Well, who knew what might happen afterwards? All manner of possibilities suddenly flitted through my mind as excitement rushed through my veins...for wasn't this proof beyond any reasonable doubt that fate had brought us together for a reason? Wasn't this proof positive that we had found true love at last? This was proof positive that our destiny had finally caught up with us both!

My eyes darted back down towards the message again: 'You're free tonight?'

How could she already be free tonight? She hadn't worked since leaving Chang'an with me; surely there must be something she must attend to before spending an evening out with someone else? Which meant...? Ohhh no! Oh God no! Nooooooo! My stomach lurched inside out as tears flowed down my cheeks; words blurred on my screen until they became meaningless letters swirling together into a chaotic mass of gibberish which made no sense whatsoever anymore! What have I done?! How could I have been so foolish?! Didn't I know better than this?! How many times have I seen this exact same scenario play out countless times before?! How many times have I witnessed people meet one another at parties or bars or wherever only to find themselves falling instantly in love with someone they barely knew just because they wanted things to be different so badly that they ignored all common sense?! Didn't any of those men learn anything after being dumped by their girlfriends or wives later on down the road?! How many more times must they repeat this same mistake over and over again before they realize how pointless such behavior is?! How many more times must they suffer at their own hands before they stop deluding themselves into thinking such things will make any difference whatsoever in the end?! How many more times must people like me watch these same heartbroken fools repeat their mistakes over and over again without saying anything about it because nobody wants to hurt someone else's feelings out of fear of hurting them further by pointing out just how idiotic their behavior really is?! As horrified as I am by what this means for myself after having wasted so much time waiting for her first message only to find myself completely unprepared when she returns...how much worse must it be for those poor tortured fools who were never lucky enough to receive even one little bit of contact from whoever they were hoping would come into their lives someday?! Because isn't this exactly how every one-sided love story begins?! Isn't this exactly what everyone hopes lies ahead for them once they are ready to leave their past behind them forever?! Isn't this exactly how every soap opera story ends once someone finally finds true love?! Yet here we are again...watching things unfold yet another time exactly as they always have before! Just another fool who thought he had finally found his soulmate only to lose him or her again forever afterwards...just another fool who firmly believed he knew better than everyone else yet refused to listen when others tried desperately hard to tell him otherwise! Why continue acting like fools when we all know perfectly well what lies ahead for people like us once we allow ourselves one bit too much false hope?! Why endure such pain when there is nothing worth getting excited about? Why keep repeating these same mistakes over and over again instead of learning from them instead? Why keep torturing yourself needlessly when there is nothing worthwhile waiting ahead for you anyway?! Why keep suffering endlessly when there is nothing left worth saving? When all hope is already lost? Why keep pretending you don't know better when you clearly do? Look closer; notice what others already see clearly because you refuse not to believe your own lies anymore! Put an end to it before letting misery destroy your life any further than it already has! Stop letting yourself live in denial so easily; stop lying so blatantly about who you really are inside your head every day! Be honest with yourself instead; accept what you have become instead! Admit your mistakes instead! Change your ways instead! Embrace honesty instead of self-destruction instead of hatefulness instead of self-loathing instead of self-abuse instead of hatefulness because whatever happens next will still hurt no matter what you do but if you try harder than ever before maybe one day you'll finally be happy again despite losing everything left worth saving inside your heart instead...so please do something about these problems plaguing your sad existence already before it's too late!! Stop living your life like everyone expects everybody else does theirs; stop forcing others accept your bad behavior as normal because defending yourself against accusations doesn't make anyone good or special or correct or anything besides paranoid inside their head thinking everyone hates them based on misunderstanding something other people said earlier today at work or school which caused them stress which caused them anger which caused them illness which caused them headaches which caused them bad attitude which caused others around them stress which caused them anger which caused them illness which caused them headaches which caused them bad attitudes which led others around them criticize their behavior even more harshly making everything turn worse than ever before while also making people dislike each other more than ever before because nobody wants to like anybody who keeps attacking people because they can't handle dealing with stress properly anymore! Stop hating yourself so much inside your head whenever someone tells you off emotionally because nobody wants to give sympathy towards someone who deserves none anyway because nobody wants sympathy themselves whenever somebody attacks them emotionally either because