The Misfit Protectors of the Planet

After his parents were murdered, he was taken in by the local gang. He grew up with them, doing whatever it took to survive. He rose through the ranks quickly, and soon became the leader of the gang. He made money the only way he knew how; he did whatever it took to make money. But for a guy like him, there was no such thing as enough money. He had a taste for gold, and women, and expensive cars. But that wasn’t all he wanted; he wanted power, respect, control over everything and everyone. Why? He didn’t know; he just did. In his pursuit of this dream, he killed many people and made many enemies. And so one day while he was at home relaxing after a long day at work, two guys walked in to his house and shot him point blank in the head. The neighbors heard the loud gunshot and called the cops. They arrived moments later and arrested one of his men who had been guarding his house.

After months in jail awaiting trial, that same man now sat in the courtroom listening to all of the evidence against him for more than one hundred murders. As each witness was brought before the judge to testify against him, he looked back with a blank expression on his face. When all of the evidence against him had been presented and all of the witnesses had testified, they brought in his lawyer to make a closing argument to the jury before they began deliberation. But as soon as his lawyer began to speak, he jumped out of his chair and yelled “No!”

The lawyers were taken aback by his outburst, but they continued their closing arguments regardless of what their client was doing behind them. Finally when they finished arguing on behalf of their client, they stood up from their chairs and turned around to face him once again. But this time they were not alone; three large men wearing suits approached them from behind with large baseball bats in hand. The judge ordered everyone else out of the room except for the defendant’s lawyer and himself. Once everyone else had left the courtroom, our client turned towards them on his knees with his hands tied behind his back with a rope tied around his neck and said “I don’t want you guys to represent me anymore okay? You get my point? I want you guys off my back so you can live your lives okay?”

The three men looked back at him without saying anything for several seconds until finally one of them said “Look man we don’t want any trouble okay? We just need you to pay your debt okay? That’s all we care about! It doesn’t matter how or where you get it but you need to get us twenty million dollars by next week or we will cut your head off! You understand me?! You need to earn us our money or we will kill you! Just like your parents! Remember them?! They are dead because you didn’t earn us our money! You understand me?! You got that?! You got it?! You understand!?”

Our client looked back at them nodding vigorously while saying “Yes sir I got it alright! I got it alright! I got it alright! I got it alright! Alright okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay!!! Ok!!! Ok!!! Ok!!! Ok!!! Ok!!! Ok!!! Ok!!! Ok!!! Ok!! Okay!! Okay!! Okay!! Okay!! Okay!! Okay!! Okay!! Okay!! Okay!! Okkaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!! Okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!! Okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!! Okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!! Okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!! Okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!! Okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!! Okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!! Aaaaallll riiiiiiggghhhtttttt!!!!!!!!!!”