Pee or Not to Pee

*"Fine, I'll do it."*

My eyes had been closed. I opened them slowly to look at Jennifer and Jason in the front seats of my car. The sun was setting and the light was beginning to fade into a deeper orange. Megan's face was lit up by the pinkish glow of the dashboard, and her eyes were wide. Her jaw was clenched tight.

She looked around, surveying the inside of her car, as if trying to find something she could use to get out of this situation. She rolled down her window and stuck her head out into the wind. She turned back toward us, tilting her head back slightly so her long brown hair flapped in the breeze, and she narrowed her eyes at me.

*"What did you say?"* she asked. *"I didn't hear you."*

I grinned at her over my shoulder while I continued driving down the highway toward our destination for the weekend: a small lakeside cabin just outside of town. It used to be owned by some old couple; now it was owned by one of my friends whose parents never used it anymore and had given it to him a few years ago on his birthday. We'd go there every once in a while after school on Fridays during senior year, but we hadn't been there since graduation last June where we all left our high school lives behind and went to different colleges across state lines.

I turned back around toward the road, my stomach flipping with excitement because I knew that soon Megan would have no choice but to follow through with what she said she would do: pee herself in front of me and Jennifer before sundown today. And then we could take pictures, laugh about it for months afterwards, and make fun of her for being such an uptight loser who couldn't hold her piss for 16 hours like everyone else on earth can manage to do every day without issue. And when I told people about this story - which I would, because this is just too good not to tell people - they would laugh at her too because everyone loves making fun of a girl who pees herself in public places because she's so damn weak-willed that she can't hold it any longer than an hour or two at most without having to stop somewhere public so she can make a mess.

We got off at the next exit for gas before continuing on to the cabin, because we were running low on gas and none of us wanted to stop after dark when we got there since none of us had ever been there before and didn't know where anything was yet except for the bedroom where we'd be sleeping tonight after a long night of drinking beers around the fire out back and talking about each other's new lives away from home. But Megan needed to pee first; that was rule number one when driving anywhere: always make sure someone needs to pee before leaving home or wherever you are at right now, because otherwise you're going to end up wasting your time unnecessarily trying to find somewhere that you know won't be open yet because it's still morning or lunchtime or whatever time zone you're in now instead of getting on with your day. And then someone will probably have an accident anyway because they put off going until later than they should have done and then they're rushed not only by their need but their fear that they might not be able to hold it until you finally find somewhere that does open early enough for them, so they try really hard but then end up making a mess anyway because no matter how hard someone can try, sometimes accidents happen and when they do, it's better not to have tried so hard at all earlier on even though no one likes being that person who "couldn't hold it" or "didn't try hard enough," because those things don't matter anymore once there's urine everywhere anyway.

*------------------------------------* *

It may sound gross right now if you're reading this thinking "Ew! How could Megan just let herself pee all over herself like that?!", but trust me: everyone understands why people do these embarrassing things when they're desperate enough. If you think back far enough into your memories (and you will eventually if you keep reading this), you'll remember something embarrassing like this happening to yourself or someone else who wasn't just pretending like Jennifer did here: a parent suddenly needing to go potty when you were out with them somewhere and having them rush into a public bathroom despite anyone else nearby seeing them go into what is supposed to be a private room where only one person is supposed to go at once - which is another reason why people avoid doing these things in public places: not just for themselves or others' sake but also for whichever place they are using that might get shut down permanently if someone keeps pooping or pissing everywhere inside instead of using a toilet like God intended - or even worse than that is your dog suddenly needing to go toilet inside your house instead of outside where dogs are meant to go - which is why dogs almost always relieve themselves outside instead of inside their owners' houses - which is another thing about dogs that people who don't understand them very well often don't realize - along with dogs being unable to talk (which means most people don't understand dogs very well), which also explains why dogs always seem sad despite humans thinking they look happy most of the time (which is another thing people don't understand about dogs). Dogs aren't sad; they're just more honest than humans are about their emotions - which isn't surprising since dogs are honest creatures who would rather poop indoors than outdoors if their owner happens to forget what doors are supposed to be used for while bringing their dog inside from outside - which wouldn't be a problem if people weren't such bad owners who forget what doors are supposed to be used for all together (because humans are bad owners) instead of remembering what doors are supposed to be used for (which is why dogs have accidents inside houses). People don't forget what doors are supposed to be used for; they just pretend everything's okay even though everything isn't okay (which is why people have accidents everywhere) instead of remembering what doors are supposed to be used for (like dogs do). So please remember all this when reading further down below (if you choose not recognize any truths about this world): humans aren't perfect; animals tend not be either; but animals aren't pretending like humans do: animals give honest answers while humans lie; animals aren't good liars like humans pretend they are; animals act honestly while humans act dishonestly; animals aren't afraid everyone hates them while humans act like nobody hates them even though everyone hates them (because no one likes liars). All these truths begin throughout history as far back as anyone can remember - starting way before Jesus Christ was born in Bethlehem over 2 thousand years ago - but ends today thanks mostly due only partially thanks due partly mostly mostly almost entirely completely completely 100% fully fully completely 100% definitely completely completely 100% definitely 100% definitely have absolutely no doubt whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever concerning solely concerning nothing but concerning solely concerning solely regarding regarding regarding regarding regarding regarding regarding regarding regarding regarding regarding regarding regarding ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING ONLY REGARDING only concerning concerning only concerning concerning solely concerning only concerning solely concerning exclusively only exclusively exclusively including regards mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mainly mostly definitely totally NOT ALTOGETHER NOT ALTOGETHER NOT ALTOGETHER NOT ALTOGETHER NOT ALTOGETHER NOT ALTOGETHER NOT ALTOGETHER NOT ALTOGETHER NOT ALTOGETHER NOT ALTOGETHER NOT ALTOGETHER NOT AT ALL NOT AT ALL NOT AT ALL NOT AT ALL NOT AT ALL NOT AT ALL NOT AT ALL concerned considered important important important important important important important important important important important important merely merely merely merely merely merely merely merely merely MERELY MERELY MERELY MERELY MERELY MERELY MERELY MERELY MERELY MERedy Meredsey Meredsy Meresy Meredy Meredy Meredy Meredy Meredy Meredy Meredy Meredy Meredy Meredy Merely Maydred Merdy Merdy Merdy Merdy Merdy Mirry Mirry Mirry Mirry Mirry Mirry Mirry Mirry Mirry Mirry Mirry Mirsy Mischirch Mischirch Mischirch Mischirch Mischirch Mischirchy Mischy Misschie Misschie Misschie Misschie Misschie Misschie Misschie Misschie Misschie Misschie Misschie Missper Missper Missper Missper Missper Mistra Mistra Mistra Mistra Mistra Mistra Mistra Mistra Mistra Mistra Mistreah Mistreah Mistreah Miuraha Miuraha Miuraha Miuraha Miuraha Miuraha Miuraha Mixchexy Mixchexy Mixchexy Mixchexy Mixchexy Mixchexy Mixchexy Mix