Moonbound of Passion - Chris and Milla's Quest for Love

When I was younger, I used to watch a lot of movies.

I think this is pretty obvious, since I was a geek. But the thing about growing up is that you realise that most of these things are fiction. I mean, sure, there are some good stories out there - but for every good story, there are twenty bad ones. And in those stories, the protagonist gets all the girls. They always get the girl: the tough girl, the nice girl, the nerdy girl... Even the principal's daughter!

We all know that in real life, the nerd doesn't get the girl. We all know that in real life, unless you're really really lucky and incredibly good looking (or both), you don't get all the girls. If anything, you might get one of them - but only if she has no other viable suitors. That is what *real life* is like; it's filled with frustration and disappointment. You find yourself waking up early on Saturday mornings to go sit alone at Starbucks instead of sleeping in while your friends go out partying and meeting girls, because you know that if you don't make an effort to meet people you'll end up as someone's wingman for eternity.

And so here we are - me and my friend Chris walking towards his house after a long day at school. It was his idea to come over today: he wanted to do something fun before prom next week. The last time we hung out was when we went to see a stupid action movie together last month: we didn't even laugh once during it; we just sat there watching with gritted teeth and rolled eyes because we knew that it would be better than being at home or school by ourselves or with our families or doing work.

"Dude," he says as we approach his house and walk around back to his room through their garden area, "I'm going to prom with Amy."

I raise an eyebrow at him as he opens his door. "You're dating Amy?" I ask him. "Isn't she dating Dan?"

Chris shrugs as he lifts up a box full of plastic tubs from his desk chair and sits down on the bed beneath it, opening it up for us to look inside. "Eh," he says as he pulls out a box of cookies and offers me one. "Amy's not serious about him."

I shake my head and decline his offer; Chris can barely control himself when there's food nearby: he'll eat everything in sight until nothing's left if he's hungry enough - which is why I'm not surprised when he pops a cookie in his mouth without stopping to take off any of its packaging first before reaching back into the open container again to pull out another one for himself before sitting back against the wall behind his bed and pressing play on an old DVD player sitting on top of it instead, turning our conversation into background noise while he turns his attention fully towards whatever show is playing on screen while he munches away at his cookie without breaking eye contact with it, occasionally raising an eyebrow or nodding with approval or shaking his head in disgust depending on how well the characters perform their tasks onscreen.

I look back into the box of goodies that Chris had brought home from school today: it contains mostly junk food and candy - some of them even expired already. At least this way I won't have to worry about eating too much later on when Chris isn't looking: I've learnt from past experience that Chris will eat everything in sight if given even half a chance - even if its unhealthy or dangerous for us both physically and mentally - so I try my best not to be around him when he's hungry otherwise I'm likely to end up regretting whatever happened afterwards because of whatever unhealthy thing we'd been tempted into eating together earlier on in our friendship (the last time we tried doing so had resulted in me spending two days throwing up while Chris spent a day at school unable to concentrate properly thanks to how badly our stomachs were hurting).

I hear Chris chuckle softly before saying, "Heh." He spends a few more seconds watching whatever nonsensical crap they're currently showing on TV before adding another cookie into his mouth (he doesn't seem to care where they're coming from anymore) and saying directly towards me now (rather than keeping our conversation between each other), "So what about you? You asking anyone?"

I look down at my phone for a moment longer than necessary before putting it back down on top of Chris' desk beside me and replying nonchalantly (as though it wasn't something that had been plaguing my thoughts all day long), "No."

Chris nods slowly (as though he probably already expected me to say this) before pulling out another cookie from somewhere within the container and shrugging with indifference when I turn around towards him after yet another disappointing response from my part today (I'm not sure why I bother). He takes a bite out of his cookie while rolling away from me onto his side with one arm supporting his head while keeping track of what was happening within the movie still playing out in front of us using only one eye ("Hm," he hums every few minutes) while munching away at whatever snack is currently held between two fingers along with saying nothing else until he's finished everything held between two fingers by then ("You know what," continues Chris suddenly after consuming everything held between two fingers by then [consisting either directly into or indirectly through whatever meal/snack had been holding such snacks], "I think Amy wants you too.")

I glance over my shoulder at him briefly before turning back around towards him again ("Why is that?") as far as possible without causing further strain upon myself due to being tired by now ("Because she keeps looking over here").

Chris rolls onto his other side quickly enough so that both our bodies are facing each other again now ("And," adds Chris quickly enough so that both our minds aren't distracted by anything else other than what he has to say next [which is likely why he said this quickly enough so]: "She keeps smiling whenever she does...").

I turn away from him instantly ("What does that even mean?") because there's no need for us both rolling around our room like idiots right now when there are perfectly good snacks nearby (although most people wouldn't call them snacks; they'd call them cookies). My eyes fall upon them immediately: they're staring straight back at me as though they agree with what has just been said by my friend sitting behind me right now ("That means," replies Chris slowly enough so that everyone listening can understand exactly what has just been explained by him [and perhaps more importantly], "that she likes you!").

But did Amy really like me? She wasn't exactly subtle about her feelings for Dan... And did Dan actually like her back? He seemed pretty eager whenever she was near him... And why did Amy keep looking over here? Was it because she liked seeing me somehow? Because she liked being near me somehow? Or was it because she wanted something from me? Something tasty perhaps? A snack? Did Amy want me as her snack? Did any girl want me as their snack? Did they want more than just snacks from me? Did they want more than just snacks *from* *me* specifically? Were girls more interested in my snacks than they were in boys' snacks in general? Would any girl want my snacks tonight? How about tomorrow night? How about in three weeks' time for prom night? What would happen if- No! Where am I getting at here?! Why am I thinking these things?! Stop thinking these things! These thoughts cannot be true! This cannot be reality! This cannot be real! This cannot be real life! Girls do not like geeks like me! Geeks do not get girls like Amy! It doesn't matter who likes who anyway! No one asks anyone anything about this stuff anyway! Everyone knows this already! Everyone knows who likes who already! Everyone knows what does what already! Can you please stop asking dumb questions like this then?! Why do nerds act so weird sometimes?! None of this makes sense anymore! Do we even exist?! Do people *like* nerds?! Does anyone accept nerds?! Can nerds ever live normal lives?! What happens if someone finds out who I really am?! If no one accepts geeks then why do people pretend they do?! Are people really this fake?! Is fakeness really accepted everywhere?! Why can't everyone stop pretending everything is fine when clearly everyone knows something isn't!? Why can't everyone stop pretending everyone gets everything they want like they're secretly living their own perfect lives just like upperclassmen do!? Who pretends everything is fine when clearly it isn't!? Who pretends everything is fine when clearly no one likes geeks!? Who pretends everything is fine when clearly nerds don't exist!? Who pretends everything is fine when clearly nerds don't belong anywhere!? Who pretends everything is fine when clearly nerdiness isn't natural!? Who pretends everything is fine when clearly nerds aren't allowed anywhere where home!? Who pretends everything is fine when clearly nerds didn't have parents!? Who pretends everything is fine when clearly nerds don't have friends!? Who doesn't pretend things isn't fine every single second!?" ["Stop pretending things isn't fine!"]