The Duality of Mathilde

A man can be a great conqueror.

A man can write the greatest book in the world.

But that doesn't mean he's a perfect husband.

My name is Mathilde and I'm married to a perfect man.

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I met him when I was 19 and well.. we got married at 23. He's a philosopher and he's written this book about human nature, it was called "The Metaphysics of Man". I don't know if you've ever read it but it's like a bible for young men and women, it's been on the New York Times Bestseller list for about 20 years now. It's actually what started his cult following. And I guess you could say he's like a modern day prophet. He knows everything about human nature and he has these really insightful thoughts on how to live life to the fullest while not sacrificing your individual self-worth. Not too long after we got married, we had our two children. We didn't plan them right away, but once they came along we were glad that we waited so long to get married because those early years were spent just the three of us and that was probably my favorite time of my life with them.

* * * * *

I remember when I first fell in love with him, it was fascinating because sometimes I'd look at him and sometimes I'd look past him (like literally past him), but even then I knew that there was something special inside of him. When most people would see a stoic philosopher who never smiled or laughed or showed emotion, they'd call him reserved or dull or boring, but with me there was something different. There was something special about our relationship that made me want to be around him all the time and learn everything I could from him. Sometimes I'd tell myself that he had nothing to teach me because I already learned everything he had to offer already, but then other times when things were bad (and there were lots of bad things during our marriage) then he would open up to me and show me the parts of his world that he didn't share with others because sometimes wisdom isn't always enough and sometimes you need someone who cares about you just as much as you care about them to give you some emotional support as well as some practical advice.

* * * * *

One day, after about 12 years of marriage and 2 kids later, I found out that my husband had been having an affair with my best friend at work (a woman named Anna). At first it felt like my whole world was crashing down around me because this was one of those moments where it felt like nothing made sense anymore and in such a chaotic state, any logical person would try to seek out answers right? Well needless to say, my husband told me that he couldn't answer any questions because he had already said too much already (he didn't confess when things happened or anything like that) so in turn, instead of confronting him and expecting answers from him, I ended up doing what any rational human being who found out they were betrayed by their partner would do:

I went out and confessed myself to another man whom I liked at work (a guy named Nicholas). Nicholas was actually Anna's boyfriend before she got together with my husband back in college (which explained why she was so close with us). Nicholas wasn't exactly like every other guy at work either: he was handsome for sure, but more than that he had a certain charm about him which attracted everyone who worked under his wing including myself. In fact, one summer night after work (we both worked at the same gym), we ended up making out in the backseat of his car for hours until both of us passed out from exhaustion only to wake up the next morning embarrassed by what happened the night before! But surprisingly enough, neither one of us wanted to pretend like it didn't happen because instead we ended up going on a few more dates afterwards which eventually led into our own versions of short term relationships! Needless to say though between Nicholas' charming personality and my knowledge of my husband's affair with Anna during those early years, our chance encounter turned into something much more than either one of us would have ever expected!