Rian's Reborn Journey

"We are the children of Israel, God's chosen people."

I cannot remember the first time I heard those words. I was raised with those words. They were my very foundation.

"When Pharaoh saw that there was a great disturbance among the people, he summoned Moses and Aaron and said, 'This is your doing! Stop making the people's work difficult."

God had delivered us from slavery, parting the Red Sea for us to cross over to safety.

"The Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt, saying: 'This month shall mark for you the beginning of months; it shall be the first of the months of the year for you.'

God had provided food for our hunger when we struck out into Sinai and wandered for forty years.

"When your ancestors went down to Egypt they were seventy in number, but now the Lord your God has made you as numerous as the stars in heaven."

God had given us victory against our oppressors when we finally crossed back into Canaan and claimed our land again.

"How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. So tell them, 'As surely as I live,' declares the Sovereign Lord, 'I will do to you exactly as I heard you say.'"

But each time we were victorious we refused to trust in God and instead relied on our own strength and pride. We worshiped idols, we married outside our faith, we abandoned God when times got rough. And so God punished us, justly so. He let everyone go their own way, without his guidance or protection. And then there was war after war after war... until there was only one tribe left: mine. And everyone else was gone, taken by sword or plague or famine or earthquake or fire or flood or locusts... gone. All dead. My parents and my siblings, my aunts and uncles and cousins, all gone. My entire world destroyed by our own sinfulness. "And you will suffer greatly," God had said when he left us alone with ourselves and each other. "But if you remain faithful to me even in your suffering, I will rescue you from it." Well no one remained faithful to God while they suffered, so here we were today: suffering greatly with nothing but our faith left to hold onto while we waited for God's promise to be fulfilled. For years now we've wandered aimlessly around Sinai with no home to return to because we've been banned from living on any of our ancestral lands due to our faithlessness and idolatry during the generations before mine. And now there are only two of us left: me and my great-grandmother Leaha who's eaten away by some unknown illness that makes her skin peel off like an onion's skin as she ages and bleeds from every pore until she dies at least once every few days... leaving me alone again with nothing but my faith. Well today is another day she dies again -- I guess that makes three times now since she met me on this road last week -- and today is another day I'll bury her body in a shallow grave nearby so wild animals can gnaw at her flesh until it rots away altogether... leaving me alone again with nothing but my faith!