Moonbound: Cami Campbell and the Power of RPD

My name is Cami Campbell. I’m seventeen years old, and I was born with Regressive Personality Disorder. It means that my mental age is somewhere between three and six years old. The condition also means that I have the emotional capacity of a five-year-old, which really bothers me because I think it makes me feel like an outcast. My parents have tried to treat me like a normal child since I was born, but they have never been able to fully understand what it’s like to be me.

As a child, the world around me seemed so big and scary. It was filled with loud noises and confusing social interactions that made no sense at all. As a four-year-old, I had no way of understanding why my parents made so much noise when they talked or why adults would want to hug me or kiss me on the cheek just because I was their daughter. At first, it felt nice that people wanted to spend time with me, but after a while I started getting tired of people kissing me or trying to hug me against my will. It just made me angry and confused.

My dad always said “it’s just love” when he kissed me on my forehead or hugged me tightly while telling me how proud he was of his little princess. But I didn’t feel loved by those kisses and hugs; instead, I felt imposed upon. They were just another part of the strange world around me where people expected things from you without explaining why they expect those things from you.

I remember once asking my mom why she kept kissing my cheek after she picked me up from school one day. She explained that it’s something parents do to show how much they love their children. But how could anyone know how much someone loves another person if there were no words exchanged? What did her kisses mean? Did she think her kisses were special enough to show how much she loved me? Did she think anyone else would be impressed by her kisses? These questions always left a bad taste in my mouth when they came up in my mind during my childhood days.

I was still young when I began developing ways of coping with the terrifying world around me. My parents always told me that everything would be okay as long as I knew who I was and where I belonged in the world. They told me that as long as I knew who my family was and that we loved each other very much, then nothing else in this world would ever be scary again because we could face anything together as one happy family unit. But even though they told me this every day, it still took a long time for their words to sink into my brain and heart, especially after traumatic events happened in our lives like when my grandmother died of cancer or when we lost our home in an apartment fire caused by faulty wiring down the street from us at night one month later; both events happened before I turned five years old.

Then there were the times when nobody seemed to care about who these people were at all and things got ugly fast unless you knew your place in this world...like when our neighbor beat up my father for looking at him funny—or worse—and causing him to get mad for some reason one day a few months after our apartment fire broke out in our building right across the street from his apartment building where he lived with his wife and kids—or worse—when someone pulled a knife on us while walking home from school one day—or worse—when someone molested you while giving you candy in public during Halloween season one year later—or worse—when your own grandmother tells you not to make too much noise while she talks on the phone with her friends during Christmas time because Grandma wants to pretend that nobody else exists in the world except for herself and her own selfish needs during the holiday season—or worse—when your own mother tells you that she doesn't want your existence anymore because she has lost too many people that are important to her...and now here you are, crying alone within your bed after suffering another loss of life or another terrible event within your own life or within your family's life...because now you're starting to lose hope about ever finding happiness or safety within this world full of terrible people who don't know how to love you for who you are...and now here you are...having no idea where you belong in this crazy world full of violent people who don't care about others...who only care about themselves...who only care about their own selfish wants...who only care about their own miserable desires...who only care about being happy at all costs...who only care about hurting others when they act violently towards them...who don't know how to respect others' feelings or thoughts whenever they get mad at them...who don't know how to love others without imposing themselves on them by kissing them against their wills or by hugging them too tightly against their will like your father did with you back then...who don't know how love works without using violence against others whenever they feel like it is needed against other people's wills...who don't know how to express their feelings without having sex with whoever they desire whenever they feel like it is needed whether it's against someone's will or not...because many men think that women are objects for their pleasure whenever they feel like it is necessary for them to satisfy themselves sexually with women whom they desire whenever they feel like satisfying themselves sexually with women whom they desire anyway!

The Regressive Personality Disorder also caused some problems for others around me, especially after something called “life experience disorder” started messing up my mind even more than usual a few years ago after some traumatic events kept happening over and over again throughout my life until finally causing severe damage inside of my brain around last year when this all started causing some problems with other people around me…like when all those problems caused by RPD started affecting everyone else’s lives negatively whenever RPD affected mine negatively because nobody else understood what RPD really meant besides myself and maybe some other doctors who worked within psychiatry fields such as Dr Bennett, Dr Anya & Dr James along with some other people who worked within Neurology fields such as Dr John & Dr Maria along with some other relatives & friends who helped treat RPD itself within my life…and now here we are now ten years later…and still nothing has changed…everything has stayed exactly the same since RPD started affecting everything negatively back then…all those problems caused by RPD have stayed exactly the same…still causing severe damage inside of my brain ever since those traumatic events happened back then…causing more severe damage inside of my brain ever since those traumatic events kept happening over and over again throughout several years ago…causing more severe damage inside of my brain ever since various dangerous chemicals began entering into everything during last year's Summer Olympics being held in Rio de Janeiro last year!