Emily's Atlantic Odyssey

When I was eight years old, my dad gave me a doll. Not one of those baby-sized dolls with the giant heads and tiny bodies that you can carry around in your pocket or backpack. No, this was a full-size Barbie. I couldn’t believe it! The doll had long blonde hair and dressed in a skimpy two-piece swimsuit. Her face had makeup on it and her lips were cherry red. She even had painted nails!

I carried that doll with me everywhere. I slept with her every night. I took her to school for show-and-tell. I even brought her to church on Sunday to show her off to everybody in my family. I named her Emily after my aunt who was really pretty and smart and nice to me.

As time went by, I became less attached to Emily and started leaving her at home more often when we went places. And then one day, the unthinkable happened: My sister Lucy stole Emily from my room while I was at school. When I got home, she was gone!

“Where is Emily?” I asked Lucy as soon as I walked through the door. My big sister looked up from the TV screen where she sat on the floor watching cartoons. She glanced over at me with cold blue eyes as if she didn’t know what I was talking about before answering. “What?”

“You know where Emily is?” I repeated, stomping my foot like my kindergarten teacher told me to do when somebody was being mean to me. Well, *I* thought it was mean that Lucy took my precious doll away from me without asking permission first or telling me where she put her!

Lucy rolled her eyes and looked back at the TV screen. “Emily who?”

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and continued to pout as Lucy continued to ignore me. My dad came into the living room from the kitchen holding a hammer and some nails in his hand looking confused. “Who is Emily?” he asked again before taking a seat next to Lucy on the couch. He set down his tools and picked up an empty beer can sitting on the end table next to him before taking a big sip from it before setting it back down again empty. “And why are you so upset about her? Did something happen to your dolly? Where is she anyway? Why don’t you ask your sister? Did you say something to her? You did, didn’t you? You were mean to your sister! Just look at how upset she is! You should be ashamed of yourself!” He leaned over toward Lucy and shook his finger in front of her face in a scolding manner while she sat there quietly watching TV as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on right next to her!

After what seemed like forever, but wasn’t actually very long at all, Dad turned around toward me with questioning eyes while crossing both his arms in front of his chest like mine were before turning back toward Lucy again saying, “Lucy Marie! What have you done with your sister’s dolly? Give it back now!!!”

Lucy kept staring at the TV screen without changing position one bit until she finally answered him in a bored tone of voice almost as if she were talking to herself instead of us: “What dolly? There is no dolly here except for hers which is sitting right there beside yours on top of our dresser upstairs!” She pointed toward our parents bedroom with her thumb as if they were hiding over there somewhere listening in on our conversation even though we all knew they weren't because they were too busy having sex probably!

I looked up quickly just in time to see them getting dressed hurriedly through their open bedroom door before running up the stairs calling after them screaming “Mommy!!!! Daddy!!! What does she mean there is no dolly here except for mine?! Where did Emily go?! How could you let somebody steal my dolly away from me like this?! That isn't fair!! Somebody needs to save my poor Emily from being tortured by that wicked witch who stole her away from me!! Somebody call 911!! This is an emergency!! Somebody please help!! SEND POLICE TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW TO SAVE MY DOLLY FROM THAT EVIL BABY SNATCHER WHO STOLE HER AWAY FROM ME!!!!! THAT WITCH NEEDS TO BE PUT IN JAIL FOR LIFE!!! DISCIPLINE NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT TO HER FOR HAVING NO MORALS OR MORALITY WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!! THIS IS A CIVIL RIGHTS VIOLATION!!!!!!!! SHE CAN'T JUST STEAL SOMEBODY ELSE'S KID'S DOLLY AND MAKE IT HER OWN PERSONAL SLAVE LIKE THAT WITHOUT GETTING INTO BIG TROUBLE WITH THE LAW!!!!!!! CALL THE FBI AND CIA AND NSA AND THE US MARINE CORPS AND EVERY LITTLE SECRET AGENCY YOU CAN THINK OF SO THAT THEY CAN FIND EMMILY BACK BEFORE THAT EVIL THIEF DOES ANYMORE DAMAGE TO HER!!!!