Dante, Beatrice and the Black Man's Demands

It being a Thursday night, I didn't mean to stay up late. I just wanted to catch the late-night news, but those talking heads always make me so angry.

I was sitting in my chair, feet on the ottoman, when I heard a creak from the bedroom. I sat upright and listened for another noise.

The creak came again. It was quiet, barely audible over the sound of the television, but it was clear--and distinct. I don't know how long it took me to realize what it meant, but at first my mind went wild with all kinds of possibilities. A burglar? An intruder? Had someone broken into our house while we were asleep?

A moment later I realized that none of that made sense. Why would anyone break into our house? We're not rich or famous or anything like that. Sure, we have nice things, but nothing especially valuable. Unless there's some kind of...um...craze going around where people break into houses and steal piles of rags and old shoes or something? That didn't seem likely, but you never know these days.

So I got up out of my chair and started slowly toward our bedroom door. My wife was still snoring lightly in bed, her head buried beneath her pillow. She'd had a long day at work; she was probably exhausted enough to sleep through an earthquake right now. But if someone really WAS in our house--someone dangerous--I didn't want to risk waking her up until I knew more about what was going on.

So I tiptoed toward the door and somehow managed not to make any more noise than a feather falling softly to the floor. When I reached the door, I pressed my ear against it and held my breath while listening for any further creaks or footsteps or rustlings or breathing noises or ANYTHING that would give me a clue about what was happening on the other side of this stupid door! In retrospect it seems ridiculous that I couldn't hear *anything*...but at the time it seemed like an eternity before I finally heard another creak--this one much softer than the last one--and then there was a soft thump as something (or someone) landed on our bed in a kind of rolling stumble.

At that point my curiosity got the better of me and I just couldn't resist peeking through the keyhole in our door to see what was happening on the other side of it!

That's when everything went from bad to worse!