Love in the Magnetic Gardens of Mars

There is a woman in my room.

I can see her from the corner of my eye, but I am afraid to turn around and look at her directly. She crosses the room, pulling off her top as she does so. Her dark hair cascades down her back as she bends over, leaning into the small refrigerator in the corner of my room. I wait for her to turn around, but she doesn’t.

I don’t know where I am or why I’m here. What I do know is that this woman is beautiful and she has shown an interest in me. My pants are tight around my thighs and it feels like they will burst open at any moment. She walks toward the bed, with two beers and a cigarette in hand, and sits beside me on the bed. Her face is flushed red and she is laughing at something I said earlier in the evening. I have no idea what we talked about or even when we started talking, but knowing that we have been together all night makes me unbelievably happy. My pants feel like they are going to pop open from happiness as well as passion.

“Have you ever had one of these?” she asks while opening the beer bottles and handing me one of them. “Oh no, wait! Never mind that question! Have *you* ever had one of those? It’s not what you think!” Her voice sounds different when she speaks with me than it did with others throughout the evening, but if pressed for an explanation I wouldn’t be able to say how it sounded different or why it matters that it did. Not knowing matters more than being able to say anything because not being able to say anything means that whatever it is doesn’t need to be defined by words or language but instead exists outside of such things entirely.

“Drink up! It’s good for your health! And mine too! You may have already noticed but I’m on my second bottle now! You don’t want to be responsible for a girl getting drunk on a first date do you? That would be bad! You’re not that kind of guy are you? No!!! You aren’t!!! Are you? Oh look at your eyes glazing over already! That was quick wasn’t it?! Yeah let me get another one for you! That was stupid wasn’t it!? Stupid stupid stupid! Typical me! Typical Kristen!! This is exactly how most of my relationships end!!!! Look at us making out on your couch while we both drink beer before we even get our pants off!!!! What will happen next??? Do you think we could make it all the way to your bedroom??? Isn’t this fun? Shouldn’t we go find some other people who can join us? No... no... no... *yes* yes yes yes YES YES YES YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!"

Her lips touch mine again and again as she continues to shout into my ear "yes yes yes yes yes yes" until there is so much saliva in my ears that I cannot hear her any longer and only feel the vibrations from her lips against my skin. She pulls away from me after a moment, leaving behind a trail of spit from cheek to cheek across my face. She smiles at me with perfect teeth while wiping away tears from under her eyes with the palm of her hand. She puts her hand on mine and looks into my eyes as if searching for something I haven't been able to find yet myself: hope - solace - belonging - love - familiarity - understanding - connection ...