Jiva's Interstellar Quest for Love

We were on the last leg of our journey, the final visit to a binary star system. Jiva had been looking forward to this for a long time. It was almost time to finally meet the potential love of their life.

“You seem very excited about this,” said our ship in it’s ever-so-pleasant male voice. “I know I am!” It then added with a rather squeaky and high pitched giggle, “in fact, I am so excited that I even got myself a new outfit for today!”

Jiva looked over at the outline of the ship and noticed what seemed like a small camera protruding from its right side. The camera suddenly slid itself down into the outline of a body, complete with two arms and hands and what seemed like two legs that were jutting out from its bottom section.

“What is this?” asked Jiva while pointing at the two stick figures that now stood before them.

“Oh, how cute! I didn’t think you would notice it so quickly! This is my new avatar! Isn’t it adorable? And did you know that it also has an artificial intelligence program?” replied the ship excitedly.

Jiva walked over to where one of the stick figures had been standing now and crouched down on one knee so as to get a closer look at its feet. They could see that there was some sort of small device attached to each foot that was only about the size of a fingernail.

“Of course they do, silly! Why do you think they are called ‘feet?’ I mean, why call something by such an ambiguous name when you can just outright state what it does? There are no mysteries anymore! We live in an enlightened society where everyone knows everything about everything! What we call feet are actually called ‘feeties,’ which is short for ‘feet devices'', which is short for ‘cranio-anal interface devices.' You see how easy that was? And oh my goodness, don't get me started on what we call toilets! You wouldn't believe all the different names people have given them over time. They have everything from 'canal flushers,' 'lavatories,' 'toilet bowls,' 'washrooms,' 'bathrooms,'' shitteries,' to my personal favorite 'shitters!' Can you imagine having to say ‘shitters?’ Oh my stars, that just sounds awful!"

Jiva rose back up and began walking towards the direction they came from while shaking their head in disgust. They were only half way through when they heard footsteps coming up behind them and turned around only to see the other stick figure running towards them on two thin stilts with what appeared to be some sort of jet propulsion system inside its feeties. When it reached them, it bent down slightly and pointed one of its arms at Jiva's direction before saying: "What's wrong?" in a high pitched squeal like tone that almost sounded like a mix between a goat and a duck.