Whispers of Time

On the weekend, I decided to visit Ohno-chan. My neighbour, who lived in the flat directly above mine.

Ohno-chan and I had been good friends for a long time. He was one of the few people I could really talk to about things, especially when it came to the subject of me being gay. He was always supportive, and would always listen carefully to what I had to say.

We were also great at cooking together, sometimes I even wondered if he wasn't better than me!

"Hey Masaki!" He called out as he opened the door to his apartment, smiling broadly at me as I stepped inside. "It's lovely to see you again! Would you like some tea?"

I nodded, sitting down on the couch in his living room.

Ohno-chan went into his kitchen to make tea, while I looked around the small apartment. There was a picture on the table next to me of Ohno-chan and Sho together, both smiling happily at each other. It looked like it had been taken quite some time ago now, their hair was much longer back then than it was now. The photo had definitely seen better days though, there were tears all over it where Ohno-chan had obviously tried to mend it many times before giving up entirely and just leaving it as it was.

"One black tea for you!" Ohno-chan called out from the kitchen, bringing my attention away from the picture and back to him. He carried two cups of tea over to the table with him, handing one of them over to me before sitting down opposite me on one of the chairs that were at the table itself. "How have you been?" He asked kindly as we sipped our tea together quietly for a while. I realised then that this must have been what they used to do whenever they visited each other too; drink tea and talk like this. In fact, they probably did it so often they didn't even need words with each other anymore; they just understood everything without having to say anything at all. Even though Sho had left us so long ago now, his presence still felt very strong between us sometimes. It made me feel good about myself though - because even though Sho was gone now, Ohno-chan still liked spending time with me. Maybe *that* was something he'd learned from Sho? Still looking at him as I thought those things, I couldn't help but notice something else though - there were dark smudges under his eyes that hadn't been there before; there was a sadness in his expression too that hadn't been there before either. And yet...he seemed happy too...almost contented...? Everything about him seemed so strangely contradictory right now - what could have happened for that to be true? "It's nice having you here; Sho always used to love having people over like this." Ohno-chan said suddenly after a while, smiling softly at me across from him as he spoke...but as soon as he said those words though...the smile faded from his face almost immediately after he'd said them...and he looked down into his cup instead of looking at me anymore...as if remembering something that hurt so badly he couldn't look at me anymore for a moment or two... "You know...sometimes..." He continued after taking a deep breath and looking back up at me again again after a moment or two had passed since we'd last spoken... "...Sometimes I feel like Sho is right here with us too sometimes." His voice sounded so sad as he said those words though; I realised then that maybe nothing ever changed after all? Maybe no matter how hard we tried to move forward in life - we always ended up just going around in circles instead? "I know that sounds silly," He continued gently after taking another sip of his tea gently with trembling hands..."But sometimes..I can almost hear him talking with Nino and Jun." A hint of sadness entered his voice as he said those words too; I knew instantly exactly who *those* three people were - Ohno-chan's younger boyfriends who had both left him behind long ago now....the pain of their loss still clearly written on his face even all these years later...and yet...there was no denying that there was also happiness hidden in his heart somewhere too...? "I can almost hear them talking about philosophy and God too." He added softly after another moment or two had passed since we'd last spoken again..."As if nothing has changed over time." He looked sad then again..."But why am I always left out?" Taking another sip of his drink himself then, he smiled softly at me again..."I'm sure they're doing fine wherever they are now." A hint of sadness entered his voice again as he said those words though - as if wishing desperately that they were here with him right now instead...? "They must be doing well wherever they are right now." He added softly after another moment or two had passed since we'd last spoken again..."Because only good things happened whenever they were together..." Forcing a smile onto my own face then in an attempt to cheer him up a little bit more when I saw how upset hearing those words made him look, I smiled brightly back at him before saying anything else myself too..."Yes! You're absolutely right!" His face lit up instantly when he heard those words from me; making him seem far younger than he really was for a moment or two..."You're such a great cook too!" His smile widened for a moment or two then before fading away again just as quickly again..."Sho used to think some of my ideas about food were crazy but.." He shook his head sadly for a moment or two too"...but whenever we cooked together..it felt like everything was perfect...like nothing could ever go wrong between us.." A hint of sadness entered his voice once more then as well; looking pained by whatever thoughts were passing through mind right now..."And everytime we cooked together afterwards..it felt like something special whenever you put your hands together with someone else's hands like that.." Swallowing my own tears down hard enough not to cry myself when hearing those words from him right now too, I reached out and took hold of one hand of his across the table between us tenderly with my own hand instead while saying what needed saying even more than any kind of explanation ever could have done alone..."You mean so much more to me than anyone else ever will do." At first he looked surprised by my gesture but then took hold of one hand back gently instead with his own hand after seeing for himself how serious my expression truly was underneath it all."Thank you," He whispered softly without taking his eyes away from mine once; smiling widely at me after breaking eye contact with me by looking down into his drink instead briefly..."Even though we live apart still sometimes..you make me thankful for having met you somehow..because otherwise *this* life wouldn't be nearly as beautiful without you here in it!" Our eyes met once more after listening carefully to everything Ohno-chan had just said; smiling brightly back at one another once more before laughing softly together for joy afterwards without any real reason whatsoever.....

"Ohno-chan," I said, my voice filled with warmth. "You're not alone. You have me, and you have all the memories we've created together."

He looked at me, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions - gratitude, sadness, and a longing for what once was. I could see the weight of his past relationships, the pain of saying goodbye. But there was also a glimmer of hope, a flicker of resilience that refused to be extinguished.

"Masaki," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "You don't know how much your presence means to me. It's like a ray of sunshine piercing through the clouds on a stormy day."

Tears welled up in my eyes, mirroring the ones that glistened in his. Without hesitation, I stood up from my seat and moved closer to him, enveloping him in a gentle embrace. I wanted him to feel the love and support I had for him, to know that he was not alone in this journey.

"Ohno-chan," I whispered, my words barely audible. "I may not have experienced the same loss as you, but I understand what it means to long for someone who's no longer here. And I also understand what it means to find solace in the people who remain."

He leaned into the embrace, his body trembling with suppressed emotions. We stood there, locked in a silent embrace, holding each other as if we were holding on to the fragments of our broken hearts.

After what felt like an eternity, we reluctantly pulled away from each other, our eyes still glistening with unshed tears. With a shaky smile, he reached out and wiped a tear from my cheek, the ghost of his touch lingering on my skin.

"Thank you, Masaki," he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. "Thank you for reminding me that love is not confined to the past. Thank you for being the light that guides me through the darkness."

I smiled back at him, my heart swelling with affection. "You're welcome, Ohno-chan. Just remember that you have a whole world of love and support around you. And I'll always be here, by your side."

As we sat back down on the couch, the atmosphere shifted. We moved from the depths of sorrow to a place of renewed hope. Ohno-chan's eyes sparkled with a newfound determination, as if he had decided to embrace life once again.

In that moment, I knew that together, we would embark on a journey of healing and connection. We would create new memories, cherish each other's presence, and prove that love transcends time and distance.

"Ohno-chan," I began, my voice filled with excitement. "What do you say we start planning our next cooking adventure? I have a feeling it's going to be even more incredible than anything we've ever done before."

A genuine smile spread across his face, erasing the traces of sorrow that had burdened him moments ago. "I would love that, Masaki. Let's make it a feast to remember."

And so, we began to discuss our next culinary masterpiece, our voices filled with laughter and joy. In that simple act of planning, we found solace and a renewed sense of purpose. Together, we would navigate the complexities of life, proving that love and friendship can heal even the deepest of wounds.

As the afternoon turned into evening, and the shadows danced across the room, a sense of contentment settled over us. We sat side by side, basking in the warmth of each other's presence, knowing that we would always have each other to lean on.

In the end, our friendship was not confined to the boundaries of time or the limitations of loss. It was a bond forged through shared experiences and an unbreakable connection. And as long as we had each other, we knew that life would always hold infinite possibilities, waiting to be discovered.