Pedro's Gender Quest in Bahia

The sun was hot. The light was blinding. I squinted hard trying to make out the figure standing in front of me. I could feel a trickle of sweat roll down my forehead, onto my nose and into my mouth.

"Why hello there Pedro." The voice was rich and deep, like that of a man who had smoked cigars for decades.

I blinked a few more times. The figure before me seemed to sharpen into focus. A tall, thin man with shadowy eyes and a painted beard stood in front of me with arms crossed over his chest. He wore a loose white cotton shirt and tucked his khaki pants into leather boots that reached halfway up his calves. In his right hand there appeared to be some sort of walking stick or staff, carved with symbols I couldn't understand.

I realized that I was sitting on the floor inside what must have been an old church. The dusty marble pews were empty, except for one in the very front row. A pile of clothes lay next to me along with several other items I didn't recognize and couldn't identify - a small purse, a pencil, even a pack of cigarettes. Was this a dream? Was it all just in my head?

The man took another step forward so that he was only about five meters away from where I sat crouching on the ground. "Are you alright?" he asked gently, waving his staff around casually as if he was looking for something.

"No," I croaked back hoarsely, clearing my throat before trying again, "I'm Pedro." I realized I sounded ridiculous but at that moment it seemed important to establish proper identity before anything else could be discussed further; this wasn't how dreams usually started out after all and I wanted to take advantage of any clues they might give me while they were still fresh in my memory. "Who are you?"

"Ah yes," said the man as though he knew who he was perfectly well but just hadn't thought about it until now, "my name is Raimundo." He smiled when he said this last part, like maybe he'd let something slip or there was some inside joke involved that I wasn't privy to yet and then it hit me: Raimundo was the name of my owner's husband! My heart skipped a beat and suddenly everything clicked into place: this was a dream! This beautiful mysterious stranger in front of me was none other than Mr Raimundo himself! It was too strange to believe but weirder things had happened before; for example, it didn't seem very long ago that Mr Raimundo had been Mrs Carla's husband but now she was married to Mr Carlos instead. Time sure flew fast sometimes didn't it? Of course! That must have been why I found myself here like this: Mrs Carla must have decided it would be fun for me to go on a trip back in time and visit her old husband again during an era when we were all still happy together - well not exactly together since she didn't remember living with him anymore but you know what I mean...

"What do you want?" I asked suddenly getting impatient with all these silly pleasantries being exchanged between us like two strangers meeting on the street corner at rush hour traffic; I knew who he was and what he represented so why waste our valuable time on small talk? It felt like forever since I had seen him last and now that we were finally reunited in this dreamscape I wanted answers - answers about how things turned out this way between us, why Mrs Carla ended up with Carlos instead of him and why she no longer remembered anything about our life together before she died...

The man looked surprised by my sudden outburst but perked up quickly enough once he realized what must have been going through my mind at that moment; after all, dreams weren't supposed to make sense otherwise they wouldn't be called dreams now would they? He walked back over towards me with an eager look on his face like nothing could possibly be more exciting than what we were doing right now at this very moment: in fact, if I didn't know better (and really how could I?) then I might have thought we were about to embark on some kind of adventure together! But wait... that's it! This must be one of those dreams where anything can happen so long as your imagination allows for it! For example: whenever Carlos dreamed about being rich his wife went out and bought him a lottery ticket but at some point he told her not to bother because every time he won he just lost the money back gambling or spending foolishly so now she never gave him any tickets anymore unless he promised her solemnly not to cheat his own luck but then sometimes when she would forget or leave them lying around on top of the fridge or behind the couch cushions or wherever she left them behind before leaving for work early one morning then sure enough later in the day after skipping lunch because he got caught up watching reruns on TV while she left him alone at home without thinking much about it while she went out shopping - which after all is only logical given how irresponsible men are generally considered to be nowadays so even if someone forgets something here or there hardly anyone ever gives them much slack for it...

"Wait!" gasped Raimundo as though suddenly realizing we were no longer talking about me or him anymore but something entirely different altogether...

Oh great! Now what did I do?

I opened my eyes slowly expecting him to look angry but instead found myself staring straight into Mr Carlos' smiling face standing on top of an anthill just outside the city limits - smiling because somehow even though Ms Carla didn't remember marrying anyone named Raimundo anymore she still managed to put two-and-two together eventually anyway by watching TV shows featuring people getting kidnapped by their relatives who pretended not to know them anymore just so they could get their hands on their inheritance money which made perfect sense of course because nevermind how many years we might have spent together before we both passed away enjoying each other's company simply knowing each other so well meant almost nothing once you stopped remembering things while instead only focusing on things like money which is vulgar stuff really only fit for those kinds of people who live out in the sticks and work hard every day just hoping their crops don't fail or else they might starve that winter which is why they don't have time to appreciate beauty or enjoy intelligent conversation or even think beyond themselves much less consider doing nice things for others which is why they probably deserve all the bad luck they get anyway...