Burning Bridges: Beatrice's Story

“You’re gonna kill yourself, Beatrice.”

Her eyes shot open as if she had been sleeping with them open. “I’m not,” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Mrs. Lamb turned to face her, sitting in the chair next to her bed. “You were going to jump off of that roof last week. I was there, Beatrice. I saw you. And now-“ She sighed and shook her head. “And now this? You setting fire to the theatre? That was very dangerous, Beatrice. Very dangerous indeed.”

Beatrice looked away from Mrs. Lamb, her gaze sliding over to the window on the far wall of her hospital room. She didn't want to talk about it anymore; she had already told them a thousand times what had happened and why she had done it and they just wouldn't listen! "I'm fine," she mumbled after a moment, trying to take control of the conversation back from Mrs. Lamb but failing. “I'm better already."

Mrs. Lamb gave a small sigh and adjusted herself in the chair before looking back at Beatrice once more with a frown on her face. "But you're not fine," she said firmly, as if she wanted to make it clear that no further discussion could be had on this subject anymore than the previous hundreds of times they'd been through this conversation before. "No one would be fine who did what you did-"

"I'm fine!" Beatrice shouted suddenly, cutting Mrs. Lamb off mid sentence and making both women jump slightly: Beatrice because she hadn't meant to shout and Mrs. Lamb because she clearly wasn't expecting that outburst from Beatrice this early on in their conversation. After a few moments of silence between them, Beatrice continued more calmly: "I really am...better." She gestured with one hand towards the bandages covering most of her right arm where she had been burned by one of the curtains in the school's theatre after setting fire to it for an art project when she realised halfway through that there was no way that the project would work out like she wanted it too if people could see it even though it was supposed to show how people viewed 'her' based on their views on art and stuff...that kind of thing didn't work very well if other people got to see what 'she' looked like so why not make all kinds of jokes about 'her' while they were at it? Why not mock her endlessly until they decided that 'she' was nothing but a joke? It was all in good fun...right? "It's not as bad as everyone says..." She trailed off for a moment as she felt a sharp pain shoot up her arm from somewhere deep inside; ever since she had set fire to herself (or tried to anyways) all kinds of things seemed to be going wrong with it: any sort of movement sent something or other hurting somewhere or other which made walking around excruciatingly painful and drawing impossible without some kind of painkillers or another or whatever else they gave her here whenever someone suggested that maybe taking those pills might help keep things under control! The doctors weren't sure why exactly everything hurt so much considering there wasn't any real damage beyond having been burned but then again did they really need to know what caused everything when they could just give her drugs anyway and solve 90%+ of the problem? Fortunately enough (or unfortunately?) things weren't quite that easy: taking those same drugs made thinking almost impossible which is something they did NOT want given how angry everything made her these days! Both sides knew full well how desperate things were getting but neither side quite seemed able to do anything about it either way...so now here they were again, stuck in this ridiculous stalemate where neither side would back down while both sides tried desperately not to notice how stupid they looked standing here forever unable to do anything else besides repeat themselves over and over until eventually everyone ran out of ideas and simply stopped talking altogether!

"Beatrice-" began Mrs Lamb cautiously only for Beatrice cut off into another interruption before finishing what Mrs Lamb had started: "Look at my arm!" She gestured towards her covered arm again with both arms for emphasis though given how tightly wrapped everything was beneath all those bandages it wasn't entirely clear what benefit such grand gestures provided beyond simply being distracting enough so people like Mrs Lamb couldn't actually say anything back without having first taken time out from their otherwise incredibly busy schedules by forcing themselves too pay attention! "Do you honestly think I intended this?" She stared hard at Mrs Lamb who merely frowned back at Beatrice silently before continuing: "Do you really think I meant for this!" She gestured wildly towards herself with both hands again making sure that whatever finger or hand or whatever hit every single thing within arm's reach in order to ensure maximum distraction once more while also ensuring eye contact between herself and Mrs Lamb remained constant until Mrs Lamb finally broke eye contact first: breaking eye contact always meant backing down just like running away always meant losing fights...and so on! "Does anyone really think I meant for this!?" For good measure Beatrice repeated everything once more though adding an extra phrase on top just for good measure "Does anyone honestly think I wanted this!? That I planned this!? That I wanted everyone looking at me like this!? Like some lab rat?! Do you think I asked for THIS?!" She gestured wildly around herself frantically with both arms yet again making sure whatever body part managed to hit something close by each time ended up hitting entirely different things each time so that there would be no doubt left in anyone's mind about exactly how chaotic these past few weeks have been for poor little Beatrice! So much has happened since starting high school nine months ago: bullying at every turn accompanied by endless mocking laughter directed right at her face as if mocking laughter didn't exist even when directed elsewhere only served as motivation and fuel instead! At first people thought they were doing her a favour showing sympathy but then showed even more pity when realising how much worse things kept getting over time instead: pity eventually turned into mockery before turning into anger directed right towards her instead which just kept getting stronger over time until finally culminating in one final act: setting fire to theatre during school play while trying jump off stage onto teacher during play! No one seriously thought she meant any harm though clearly something went wrong during planning stages since jumping off stage would have lead directly onto teachers head instead causing potential death or serious injury which is obviously something everyone present wants avoided! Instead she ended up burning herself quite badly by accident though thankfully nothing life threatening which is why here we are today nine months later still talking about events that happened months ago despite there being little point left in doing so given how much has changed since then thanks mostly towards drugs keeping everything under control until both sides can agree on some kind of solution instead! If only we could figure out exactly what we're fighting about in order to get things moving forwards again so people can stop acting like idiots around each other while also pretending these are normal days gone by where nothing unusual ever occurred outside of school itself...instead we're stuck here getting nowhere fast thanks mostly due too being unable [or unwilling] too move forward!