Chasing Aurora Across Europe

“Why do you always have to say such things?”

“Such as?”

“Such as… well, what you just said.” Aurora took a sip of her brandy. “That I am beautiful. That my eyes are the most vibrant color in the world. That my hair shines like gold. That I smell like spring flowers.”

Emilian shrugged. “It is true, isn’t it? Don’t you think those things about me? If not now, then at some point? Or are we so different that you think that I am ugly, my eyes dull and dark, my hair dull and unkempt, and that I smell musty and unpleasant?”

She laughed a little at that. “No, no, of course not. But aren’t you afraid to say it? It sounds almost… improper.”

He looked away from her for a moment and she wondered if he was angry with her for saying something improper herself or if he was thinking about what she had said. He turned back to her and smiled gently. “I don’t know why I say such things. It is just what comes out when I look at you, or when I hold your hand or kiss your cheek or when I hold you close and feel your heart beating against mine, or when we make love… When we make love it seems like all those words are hidden inside me and they want to come out but there is no other way for them to escape except through my lips. So they come out in a rush of emotion and all those words tumble out, one after another, like pebbles falling down a mountainside into a valley below where they land and roll around until they find their place on the ground. Why do you think they call it making love? Doesn’t it sound as if we are putting something together - making something new out of two separate parts that were once apart but needed each other so much that they became inseparable? Isn’t that what happens when we make love? We become inseparable and the whole world disappears into nothingness because all we can focus on is each other and how everything else just doesn’t matter anymore?” He paused for a moment and she looked away from him again and fiddled with her own drink rather than meet his gaze head on. She felt embarrassed by how passionately he spoke even though she knew that none of what he said wasn’t true. She felt embarrassed by her own inability to express herself in a similar way but she wasn’t sure why she hadn't been able to do so yet. Maybe it was because she had never really given him anything to respond to before now; maybe it was because she didn't know if any of this would last past this night or even beyond tomorrow morning; maybe it was because she feared the directness of his words would scare her away before she was ready to be gone; maybe it was nothing more than simple fear... or perhaps just plain uncertainty about all of this - about them - in general.

"You know," Emilian continued after their silence grew longer than he could tolerate comfortably, "I thought, when we first met on the plane ride here from Bucharest, that you were very beautiful but also very cold."

"Cold?" Aurora raised an eyebrow at him curiously."How so?"

"Well," Emilian started slowly, choosing his words carefully so as not to offend her in any way, "you were so polite to me but there was something behind your politeness that made me feel as if I should be grateful that you were being nice enough to speak with me at all." He smiled at her apologetically as he recognized the truth in his statement although he realized too late that the expression on his face must have looked strange since Aurora's expression hardened noticeably while he spoke."But then later when we went dancing together...after dinner...when we danced together..."

"Yes?" Aurora prompted him impatiently after realizing he had trailed off mid-sentence as if he couldn't seem to find the right words for whatever memory was playing behind his eyes."What happened then?"

He blinked several times trying to collect himself so that he could continue speaking but instead ended up taking another sip from his glass of brandy before responding rather hoarsely: "You lifted your arms around my neck...and leaned into me...and smiled..." He swallowed hard before continuing: "And then you said those things..." His voice trailed off again as he lost himself once more in thought only this time Aurora had seen the expression on his face slip away from her view while his eyes were closed; she recognized a familiar look blossom across his face - one she had seen many times before whenever they were together....one reserved especially for moments such as these....moments when neither one of them could speak for fear of ruining something beautiful....something meaningful....something special....something.....she sighed deeply before turning towards him fully:

"Then I suppose," Aurora finally continued softly after allowing him some time to gather himself again, "that this will be our last night together." She watched with sorrowful satisfaction as Emilians' smile faded away without him even noticing it as thoughts flooded through him quickly at the realization that what she said was true: They would be leaving Paris tomorrow morning......leaving France altogether....leaving Europe altogether.......leaving each other......forever.....or at least until some unknown future date.....he opened his mouth slightly as if to respond but then shut it again without uttering a word......his throat constricting painfully......he wanted desperately to ask why.....to tell her how ridiculous it was for her to even suggest such a thing but instead he simply stared helplessly back at her..........She stood up suddenly from their table: "Well," she began moving away from him down along side the wall towards the exit door leading back out into the streets outside where hundreds upon hundreds of people milled about during this happy hour hour....past bars filled with drunken tourists looking for excitement wherever they could find it tonight: "Perhaps another time will present itself someday where our paths cross again." She looked over her shoulder at him one last time before disappearing through the door: "Until then," she said quietly with sadness in her voice: "Goodbye Emilian." Then she was gone.......leaving only an empty space where she had been sitting.......the air around it still warm......the warmth still clinging lovingly to everything around it......waiting patiently......hopefully........for someone who might return and need its warmth again someday soon..........