Soothing the Summer Swarm

"I wanna go home."

"What?"

Michael and I were walking back from the dance under the moonlight. I was still wearing my clothes from attending, but he had gone out with me, changed into jogging pants and a jacket, then we left together. We both had been using my family's car for two weeks now.

"I wanna go home," I said again. "My parents are gonna be worried."

Michael looked at me sideways. "Your parents are the least of your worries." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Dude, we can't go back there."

I threw up my hands and let them fall down to my sides, exhausted. My hair in its ponytail was already falling loose. Michael glanced at it as we walked, trying to resist the urge to reach out and touch it like he had all night. Michael was probably the closest thing to a real friend that I had ever had, but I couldn't help feeling terrible about myself right now. My father would kill me if he knew I went to my first high school dance, and got drunk and danced with all those people. And the pantyhose...

"So what do we do?"

He took another deep breath before answering, "We gotta find somewhere else to stay tonight." He walked ahead of me so he could look me straight in the eyes when he said it. "We have to stay away from our houses." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. "Until tomorrow morning."

I nodded along numbly. His hand was warm in mine and felt good against the icy cold night air on my legs under my skirt. And he was right - we were in too much trouble to go back to our houses tonight. If we did go back home, we'd be dead for sure. Neither of us had ever lied to our parents before, or snuck out or anything like that... But we'd snuck out last Friday night just so we could meet up at McDonalds and talk about how nervous we were about going to tonight's dance... And then today they found that note I wrote during lunch where I mentioned sneaking out again tonight! There was no way they wouldn't figure out what happened...

"What are you thinking?" Michael asked me now that we'd stopped walking again and were standing by his pick-up truck at the curb near his house. He stared at me intently, waiting for an answer as he studied my face for clues about what I might do next... What would drive me forward? It was really quite flattering how invested he seemed in this whole adventure of ours... In saving our skins from certain death by lycrophobia... By ourselves anyway... The police would never let us off without punishment anyway once they ultimately caught us - either way! It would be better if they didn't catch us at all though! Unless they didn't care? Which seemed unlikely given what happened last time!

My heart skipped a beat as a crazy idea popped into my head. It made sense - why not? It would fit perfectly with what Michael said about finding somewhere else to stay for one night... And then Mom and Dad - or whoever came looking for us - could deal with their own problems instead of ours! We'd be long gone from this town by then anyway if everything went according to plan! What did it matter if someone called them tomorrow morning if it wasn't us?!

"It might work!" I exclaimed breathlessly, grabbing Michael's arm excitedly so he knew what was going through my head. "Maybe Mrs Norman lives alone?"

* * * * *

Mrs Norman lived alone alright - she lived alone because her husband died three years ago in an accident involving his tractor and some other guy who hit him on purpose while driving down a country road at night while drunk as hell! She lived alone because she got a big insurance settlement after getting divorced from her husband once his drinking problem became intolerable after they lost their only daughter five years ago due to being struck by lightning while riding her bicycle during a storm... She lived alone because she basically hated all men after that - especially rich little boys who thought they owned the world just because their fathers paid for their fancy private schools and nice cars so they didn't need to suffer like everyone else did! No damn thank you! She even hated rich little girls who thought they were special enough to get away with doing whatever dangerous crap their mothers told them was okay! She hated rich little girls who pranced around in sheer black stockings all over the place like shameless whores just because their daddy bought them a new car or two for their sweet sixteenth birthday or something equally ridiculous! How dare anyone think such things were okay in her presence?! How dare anyone sell such things to her children without shame?! Was she supposed to pretend that everything was normal just because she had money!? Just because she didn't have any kids anymore?! Was she supposed to pretend that nothing bad ever happened in her life because God forbid she might lose her status as queen bee of Florence?! Jesus Christ almighty people could be so fucking insufferable sometimes!! So freaking judgmental and stuck up!! So freaking pretentious!! Sometimes she wanted to slap every last one of them upside their heads with a frying pan just once so they learned something!! Just once!! To remember what pain felt like!! To remember what loss felt like!! To remember how precious life was!!! How fragile!!! How easy it is just to throw away your humanity if you're not careful!!! To turn into monsters!!! To forget the very morals your parents tried so hard teach you!!! She wanted them to remember what it felt like when you lose someone special in your life!!! For crying out loud people could be so damn self-centered sometimes!! So damn self-absorbed sometimes!! So damn blind sometimes!!!! They cared more about themselves than anything else... More than each other!! More than their families!! They were so consumed in themselves that they couldn't see reality anymore - all they saw was delusion.... Hell most of them preferred delusion over reality these days because being delusional meant everything awful could be swept away into some dark corner where it could be ignored forever!!! Ignored until it no longer existed!!! Until it no longer hurt!!! They couldn't handle pain anymore!!! That's why there were so many drugs everywhere nowadays!!! So many distractions!!!! So many lies!!!! Such miserable fucking lives everyone led these days.... Such miserable fucking existences everyone lead these days.... How sad.... How pathetic.... How utterly disgusting.... Did no one else see how fucked up everything was becoming anymore??? Did no one else see this shit unraveling before their eyes???? Did no one else feel fear anymore?? Did no one else care anymore???? Did no one remember what pain felt like??? Pain brought on by loss??? Pain brought on by suffering??? Pain brought on by poor choices??? Didn't anyone know how much harder you had to work once happiness left?? Didn't anyone understand?? Didn't anyone care?? Sometimes she wanted those rich little bastards who drove those expensive fast cars around the town hitting each other constantly with baseball bats screaming bloody murder everywhere all the time when really deep down inside they were just terrified little boys covered in mommy's blood begging for mercy until death came and sucked them away into oblivion forever!!!!! Oh yes indeed Mrs Norman did not care for rich little bastards who tried desperately hard not laugh as another boy lay dying before them screaming bloody murder in agony on god knows whatever street while they drove straight past him!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! SHE DID NOT CARE AT ALL FOR THEM BECAUSE THEY WERE DEAD PEOPLE TO HER AND IT WAS TIME THE REST OF THE WORLD UNDERSTOOD THAT JUST AS MUCH AS SHE UNDERSTOOD THEM!!!!! AND LIKE IT OR NOT SHE WOULD BE S