A Martian Detective's Secret Mission

I landed on the planet Mars, clutching a small carry-on bag. It was my only possession. I'd left everything else behind.

I had been caught once in my life. I didn't even know what they'd done to me, but whatever it was, it made me a freak. I couldn't tell anyone about it because if I did, they would find out about my condition and strip away my job with the police force. So I ran. I stole a shuttle off the launch pad and flew out here where, hopefully, no one would find me.

As I stumbled through the dust on the red planet's surface, trying to think of somewhere to go, someone grabbed my arm. I turned around and looked into a pair of steely blue eyes.

"Where do you think you're going?" The man asked gruffly. "This is our land." He pushed me roughly onto the ground and looked around to see if anyone had seen him do it. Luckily, there was nothing but rocks and dirt for miles around us. Then he walked off a few yards to his hut and slammed the door shut behind him. It was the only building in sight; all the others were just rocks propped up by sticks or logs lying in a circle outside them to make rooms where people could live in them when it got cold at night.

I picked myself up off the ground and began walking again towards these huts as they were all that was around for miles. Maybe someone would be nice enough to let me stay there for a while until I figured out where I was going next. When I reached the first one, I opened the door and peered inside before going in so as not to startle anyone who might be inside taking their clothes off or something like that when I walked in unannounced like this. When I looked around, however, everyone was fully clothed and talking normally as if nothing had happened so I continued walking further down the line of buildings until eventually I reached an empty hut near the back corner of the circle of huts where no one had ever lived in one before because it wasn't facing any of the other ones directly or anything like that like they usually did when they built these things; they were always thought out very carefully by whoever did it so that people could live together without fighting over who got which room facing which direction like we were doing now that we were all out here on Mars together but then again maybe this wasn't really how they did things here since apparently no one else lived here right now so who knew? Maybe it was okay to just build one wherever you wanted since there wasn't anyone else living here at all but still there was still something strange about leaving rooms empty when we weren't sure if some important person might show up soon and need somewhere to stay unless maybe that's why it was empty: because someone had been expecting someone important from Earth but then when that person never showed up then whoever built this place must have decided it didn't make sense to leave an empty room standing out here staring at everyone looking lost so instead he took down his sign saying "room for rent" and put up another one saying "fuck off" instead? Or maybe he hadn't updated his sign yet because he hadn't realized that he needed to take down his old sign yet? Or maybe he had taken down his old sign already but forgot about putting up his new one? Or maybe he left it like that on purpose because he liked how it made him look more important than everyone else around here since normally people are supposed to put up signs advertising rooms for rent but instead he just left one up that said "fuck off" which made him seem much more mysterious somehow even though just looking at him he didn't seem much different from any of us other than having a funny name too: Mr Fuck Off! What kind of name is that anyway? Did his parents hate him or something? Anyway clearly this guy couldn't be expected to take care of himself very well considering he'd built a house with an extra room attached on to it but who knows maybe everyone here is just like him: all grown men and women sitting around doing nothing with their lives except for Mr Fuck Off who doesn't even know how to build a proper house anymore so instead has taken all his spare time over the years chipping away at this rock wall until finally there's nothing left except a small space where he can stand while leaning against two rocks propped up against each other pretending not to notice anyone else around him waiting patiently in line until finally someone says back into our general direction "who is that guy over there? Why does he keep looking at us?" And then another person will say "oh yeah...that's Mr Fuck Off!" And then everyone will whisper quietly among themselves about what exactly Mr Fuck Off might have done wrong to warrant such treatment as being ignored by everyone else living here who don't seem to mind having each other around after all sometimes being alone can be lonely especially if you don't know anyone else living anywhere nearby... But anyway your point is probably well-taken: after all why should anyone have to put up with such treatment from someone standing upright beside them on Mars who clearly must have problems communicating with others given how irritable he seems when more than one person is present? So for your sake and ours we won't bother telling Mr Fuck Off how rudely he's behaving right now by ignoring us all like this! No instead we'll just politely walk past him as if nothing's happening and wait outside while you enter his home! That way you can tell him what you want without offending anyone else! Good luck!