In Pursuit of Passion

The perfect date was a disaster.

I lost my shoe in the race to the ship, and I think that Kallen decided he didn’t like me when I accidentally hit his head with a crossbow. I basically ruined his suit, too. He looked sexy as hell in those clothes, but now they were covered in sand and dirt. I almost had to pay him for them.

I convinced him to come back to my place for a shirt since I didn’t have any with me, and then made a huge mistake by inviting him up for a drink. I know that usually works out fine, but Kallen wasn’t a regular guy. He got all quiet and started being weird after that little spiel about me being an “Adventurer”, whatever that is supposed to mean.

It was only supposed to be one drink anyway, but somehow we ended up going on a whole quest together! It was awesome- totally wild and crazy! We got into some big fights with dragons and bandits and even this monster that just kept growing bigger every time it ate someone. So cool!

And then there we were, standing on the deck of this huge pirate ship, ready to go after the treasure everyone had been looking for for centuries. It turns out Kallen was the prince of this country in Europe called Greece... whatever that’s supposed to mean. Still, he was really cute when he told me about it. I would have gone with him anywhere just for that smile of his.

We went down into the hold of the ship, where there were all these old chests filled with gold… or something like that anyway. It looked shiny at least. Anyway, while we were checking it out, we heard all this screeching above us and a bunch of people screaming their fool heads off. Next thing you know there are these giant birds attacking us as well as all these pirates trying to kill us. Some shit happened where Kallen got hurt fighting them off so I tried binding his wounds while we hid behind some barrels or something. Someone said something about how they couldn’t die because they were immortal or something like that so I figured I would stay focused on secretly making out with him instead of worrying about the wounds... he seemed okay after that so I didn’t bother checking again until later anyway.

The next morning we woke up on this beach somewhere in North America or something… maybe California? Anyway it was hot as shit outside and my phone wasn’t working anymore so I couldn’t call anyone back home to pick us up - not that anybody would understand what language we spoke anyways - so we had no choice but to try hitchhiking our way back home from this place called Venice Beach… if you can believe it! Seriously what kind of weirdo names their city Venice Beach? It was absurd… hilarious even! The traffic here is terrible though so it took forever before we found someone who could take us anywhere near civilization- not that civilization is even the right word for LA County! Anyway long story short we finally get back home safe and sound… well as safe as can be expected considering how many times things almost bit it today… except now my favorite shoes were gone! Lost somewhere along the way i guess… which is sad because they were hella expensive! Never mind though because Kallen asked me out again! This time hopefully without any monsters or pirates getting between us… maybe somewhere nicer than Venice Beach too? Who knows? Only time will tell!