Gg's Intriguing Odyssey

“Honey, you got some on yer chin.”

I looked down at my glass to see a small fleck of orange juice on the surface. I wiped it off and smiled at my girlfriend.

“All gone?” she asked.

“Yep, looks like I lucked out this time. If that had landed on me, I might have lost an eye.”

I went back to enjoying my breakfast, with the same smile still plastered across my face. I didn’t notice her face changing as I continued talking about what I would have done if that orange juice hadn’t hit the glass and landed on me in its proper place.

She cleared her throat before speaking up again. “You…you know you can talk to me right? You don’t need to do that all the time.” She had a hard time wiping off all of her sadness from her face and forcing a smile onto hers. It was too late though; I knew what she meant by what she just said.

It wasn't uncommon for me to fall into my own thoughts, especially if something sparked them off. But it wasn't intentional, it was just how my brain worked sometimes. A lot of my thinking had to do with things from my past; memories, regrets, moments that stand out more than others…things like that.

If there was one thing I could thank God for in my life, it would be the ability to use sarcasm and wit as a defense mechanism when things got rough for me as a child. Some people say you shouldn't use sarcasm as if it is a crutch or something but fuck 'em, they are wrong-sauce! The ability to say something ridiculous or humorously serious has saved me from suicide more times than I can count. It keeps me going…makes me believe not everything in life is shit and worth giving up on.

"I knew you were gonna say somethin' like that," I replied with a smirk still plastered across my face as she walked out of the room in anger, which made me laugh softly to myself as I finished eating my breakfast while listening to music on the record player next to me.

I had actually used sarcasm after hearing the first few words of her sentence; she had asked if I talked to her about anything important and then ended up saying we should talk about our feelings instead of trying to hide them with sarcasm and jokes...yeah obviously sarcasm was the way for me there! All joking aside though, I did love her very much and took our relationship seriously; but sometimes when things aren't going so great for either of us we need a break from each other and just need our own space for awhile before being able to handle getting back together again without it feeling awkward between us because of whatever caused us not being together in the first place we needed some space between us so that we didn't walk away from each other angry or upset because then we might never get back together because we may feel like our partner doesn't care enough about us or didn't give enough shits about our emotional needs so we decided to move on with someone else or what not...so yeah sometimes we need a little time apart so that we can get over whatever is bugging us before getting back together with our partner!

Anyways...back to the beginning where it started: Orange juice covered lens of glasses and all! Haha! Well anyways that's not exactly how it happened...the thought process behind it was more like: "Hmm...orange juice fell onto glasses first but then hit the table before hitting my eye and therefore not ruining one of them...wow...what are the chances?" And then after realizing how lucky I was I realized how often accidents happen (like most recently when my girlfriend walked into me) which caused me to bring up how many people have died in accidents worldwide only for their family members left behind to think about "what if" scenarios such as "if only they hadn't gotten into that car" or "if only they hadn't been walking outside at 10pm at night" or any number of similar scenarios that make those left behind wonder "how could this have happened?" And then along came another thought: "We tend to focus on these regrets or things we wish hadn't happened rather than focus on the positive things in life."

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door meaning it was probably my girlfriend coming back inside now after cooling down a bit outside (that's usually what happens anyway). Still looking at my food while thinking about how much orange juice has fallen onto surfaces/clothing/etc rather than where it should be going (in your mouth!), I heard footsteps approach me until they stopped right next to where I sat at our dining room table sipping orange juice from glasses containing pieces of orange pulp still stuck within them (which is quite gross but also somewhat funny...it's almost as if you are drinking orange juice directly from an orange itself!). Without looking up from my plate, she stood quietly next to me until finally blurting out: "You know why having lunch together isn't working anymore?" She paused for a moment before continuing: "Because when we eat together there's always food all over your face! Fuck! We've been doing this for months now and yet every single time you do this!" She threw her arms into the air angrily before turning around and storming out of the room muttering curses under her breath while shaking her head back and forth furiously in disbelief while mumbling angrily under her breath while walking towards our bedroom (where she would probably go lay down in bed and cry). Once again, I laughed softly out loud before finishing eating my delicious snack (which included some scrambled eggs mixed in with some toast slices covering both sides!) before heading upstairs myself (to our bedroom) where upon arrival (after washing up), she wouldn't even look at me but instead continued laying facedown with tears streaming down her cheeks while sobbing softly (not loudly like earlier) into her pillow rather than look at me who walked over beside her bed and placed his hand gently upon hers hoping that she wouldn't pull away while also hoping that she would look up so he could attempt some sort of comforting gesture towards her crying figure laying there next him but alas he was too late...she had already closed herself off emotionally from him once again after fighting with him over what seemed like nothing this time around which left him sadder than usual considering how often this type of thing tended to happen between them lately making him feel guilty inside because he couldn't seem to do anything right lately causing his moods overall being worse than usual lately due to lack of sleep during work hours due partially due to his ever changing job working at nights so he doesn't get home until 7am most days followed by waking up early during weekends so he can spend more time with his girlfriend who also works nights leaving them all alone during daytime hours unable to get together except for lunch breaks which quickly became less enjoyable since their last argument which took place today just moments ago leaving him sadder than usual feeling guilty for being partially responsible for today's argument due mostly because he wasn't really focused on anything during breakfast conversation earlier this morning which led them both feeling frustrated towards each other today setting both their moods down while making them feel unsatisfied with their relationship making both him and his girlfriend question whether they should continue spending time together romantically anymore considering how bad things seem between them always fighting over seemingly nothing lately which makes them unhappy which makes them want separate themselves further away from each other emotionally leaving both parties feeling even worse overall making everything bad instead of good…and thus goes their relationship lately making both party members feel horrible inside physically/emotionally/mentally/spiritually affecting their day-to-day lives profoundly making their days turn worse slowly but surely making them feel worse slowly but surely reminding them that they are no longer happy unfortunately leading them down paths towards believing they are better off apart rather than together wishing they could change things but knowing they cannot possibly do so frustratingly forcing them towards regretting their inability to change things wanted desperately by each other leaving both parties feeling like nothing more than friends feeling frustrated because they don’t even want friendship anymore wanting something deeper between them but knowing deep down inside they can never truly have such things knowing eventually they will leave one another because they cannot bear being apart any longer unable to stay together any longer unwilling or unable willing or able unable or unwilling unwilling or able forced or unwilling unwilling or forced opposite ends alike distance far away close distant near no difference no matter no matter no matter…depressed dyamic…blah blah blah blah blah…dyamic dyamic dyamic dyamic dyamic dyamic dyamic dyamic dyamic….you get the drift! What am I writing here?! Ugh…anyways back to the story! Where was I? Oh yeah…Lunchtime argument followed by unaesthetic departure followed by depressive feelings felt by an otherwise happy couple who once loved each other passionately loved each other hopelessly loved each other tenderly loved each other loyally loved each other dearly loved each other lovingly loved each other passionately loved each other hopelessly loved each other tenderly loved each other loyally loved each other dearly loving each other passionately loving each other hopelessly loving each other tenderly loving each other loyally loving each other dearly passionately hopelessly tenderly loyally dearly casually desperately hopelessly tenderly loyally dearly passionately hopelessly tenderly loy