Unspoken Love

Rachel was an angel.

She was my identical twin. She had always been there for me, and she always would be.

We had grown up together in the same city, gone to the same schools, and lived in the same home. We were never apart.

I had always been so proud of that fact. I wondered if anyone else in the world had a twin who they could say was with them all day every day, every minute of their lives.

One day we were walking down a street in town when we passed a window of a dress shop. There were two dolls, identical too, dressed in identical outfits. They were on display.

"Why would you do that?" I asked my sister. "Is it fun to look at dolls wearing clothes that literally nobody wears?"

Rachel smiled at me. "It's not like we have a choice."

"What do you mean?"

"It's nice to see ourselves reflected in a mirror or on TV but it's weird to see two people who are supposed to be the same looking so different. It's like seeing double. I know we're the same but it's hard to tell sometimes."

"But you can tell, right?" I was getting frustrated.

"Yes, of course. I've known my whole life that I'm your twin and that we're the same but we're not exactly the same. We might look the same but I feel like we're not.

I knew what she meant. It was like she was describing how I felt.

"And anyway," she added, "it doesn't bother me. I have you, I have dad and mom. I have everything I need."

I was happy to hear that. "I have you too. I always will. I love you."

She smiled at me. "I love you too."

But that wasn't true.

I didn't have her any more.

* * * *

Jack was handsome. I had known him since we were small. He was my best friend.

He had always been there for me, and he always would be.

Jack and I grew up together in the same city, went to the same schools, and lived in the same home. We were never apart.

I had always been so proud of that fact. I wondered if anyone else in the world had a friend who they could say was with them all day every day, every minute of their lives.

One day we were walking down a street in town when we passed a window of a dress shop. There were two dolls, identical too, dressed in identical outfits. They were on display.

"Why would you do that?" Jack asked me. "Is it fun to look at dolls wearing clothes that literally nobody wears?"

"It's not like we have a choice." I replied. "It's nice to see ourselves reflected in a mirror or on TV but it's weird to see two people who are supposed to be the same looking so different. It's like seeing double. I know we're the same but it's hard to tell sometimes."

"But you can tell, right?" Jack said. "I know we've been friends since we were young but I don't think I ever knew that you and Rachel were identical twins."

"Yes, of course. I've known my whole life that I'm your friend and that we're the same but we're not exactly the same. We might look the same but I feel like we're not.

"And anyway," I added, "it doesn't bother me. I have you, I have Rachel, I have everything I need."

He smiled at me. "I have you too. I always will."

But that wasn't true.

* * * *

The thing about Jack is that he is smart. He always has been. I've always seen that about him.

My sister and I are different. I am not as smart as her, and she is not as smart as me.

But I know that she is beautiful, and I know that she has a good heart.

* * * *

Jack and I were sitting outside under a tree. It was a hot day.

I had wanted to go into the shade but Jack had insisted that we stay where we were. He wanted to talk to me.

I started talking to him. I told him how scared I was that my parents might be getting divorced.

Jack said that he was scared too. He said that he didn't want to lose his best friend.

* * * *

I told him that I loved him. That I had always loved him.

He told me that he loved me too.

* * * *

I told him that I was falling for him.

He looked away from me and began to cry.

* * * *

He told me that he was in love with my sister.

* * * *

I didn't know what to say.

* * * *

He told me that he thought that I was Rachel. That he had fallen in love with my sister and not me.

* * * *

I didn't know what to say.

* * * *

He told me that he was sorry.

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I didn't know what to say.

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I didn't know what to say.

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