The Balance Keeper's Quest

I'm sitting in the waiting room, excited for today's appointment. I've been through a lot of physical changes, so it feels like a reward to finally be able to take care of this little problem.

I've looked at myself in the mirror and felt awful that there's no penis. I don't even really know how much it would matter to my boyfriend, but I want to give him everything he could possibly want. I just want to feel complete.

I look around at the other women in the waiting room. Some are here for the same reason I am. My mind wanders briefly to those who might be getting their breasts reduced, or their eyes lasered, or whatever else people get done these days. The thing is, all of us have one thing in common: we're definitely not men anymore. We know that, and as long as we know that, we can never go back. We're past that point, and everything from this point on is getting better.

The doctor comes out and calls me into his office. He talks about what I'm hoping for- a "clitoral reduction." It's the best he can do for me because of my genetic makeup, but it's better than nothing, which is what I have now. He tells me that it'll be a rather simple procedure and gives me a list of things to avoid eating and drinking after the surgery; he says it won't affect anything too big in my life, but it'll help keep everything smooth if I listen to him. He tells me that he has my phone number and will call me with any updates- he says the procedure is pretty routine, so there probably won't be any update calls except maybe when they're prepping my surgery or when they're wrapping up after they're done with me.

I thank him and walk out of his office into the waiting room again. Everyone else is still there, waiting for their appointments with different doctors who work here at this clinic. There are a few female doctors here; I was told by some folks online that some clinics only had male doctors, which would have been kind of awkward for me since I definitely didn't *want* a man touching my body down there...

I head outside and see my boyfriend waiting for me in his car. He smiles and waves at me- he looks so happy to see me! It makes me smile too; he's always so nice to me and makes sure that I'm alright every day we're together - he's helped me become more confident and strong myself over time since we first started dating too! Sometimes I think it's because we were both going through similar problems when we met...

My heart skips a beat when I get in his car: he has something small on top of his steering wheel...