Megan Fox and the Cosmic Secret

The key turned in the lock and I could hear the front door open and close. I held my breath and tried to keep very still. I heard his footsteps approaching the kitchen, slowly at first but then picking up speed. He was getting closer. Has he heard me?

I heard a loud crash. The cupboard doors had been thrown open and I heard him rummage through them. He grunted as he threw bottles of wine against the wall and swore as he broke them on impact. Presumably he was trying to find one that had not yet been consumed. His voice was slurred and his stagger was more of a sway, like someone who has just stepped off a boat onto dry land after a long journey at sea. "Where's all the fucking...wine?" I heard him ask himself aloud, but he did not sound angry or irritated. He sounded almost wistful.

A moment later I felt warmth spread across my abdomen and down my legs. It wasn't blood, it was wine. The smell was unmistakeable, even though it was mixed with the stench of sweat and alcohol that oozed from his pores like an open wound that had never healed properly. I didn't want to think about how long it had been since he had last washed or changed clothes. Or showered for that matter.

He drank deeply from the broken bottle, gulping down its contents so quickly that it splashed through his lips and spattered his shirtfront with crimson droplets of wine mixed with saliva and bits of food stuck between his teeth. Then he dropped the bottle on the floor, picked up another one and continued drinking in silence, lost in thought or some other dreamworld where wine flowed freely rather than water from the tap, until he fell asleep slumped against the kitchen table with most of these bottles still unopened on the floor surrounding him like victims waiting to be sacrificed to a pagan god whose name no one remembers any longer. Still clutching two bottles of wine that were half-empty when he finally passed out, spilling wine onto the table where it mingled with his blood before dripping to the floor where it formed a dark puddle around his feet that looked like nothing so much as fresh blood spilled for ritualistic purposes.

I moved out from behind the door where I had been hiding ever since he came home earlier this evening demanding food - something heavy with cheese - preferably pizza - or just about anything really as long as there was lots of cheese on it - or maybe steak if we could afford it - you know what they say about red meat, right? That's why they call it red beef! Ha ha ha... *snort* *wheeze* And some red wine too please, darling! But all she had wanted to give him was a piece of bread with some salty ham on top because she knew there wasn't enough money left for anything else today so instead we're going to have ham sandwiches for supper tonight! No pizza for us tonight dad! And don't even think about having a beer! You've already drunk two bottles today with lunch! And three glasses of wine at dinner last night! You're going to be sick tomorrow if you drink any more alcohol tonight! So no more alcohol! Do you understand me? She'd shouted at him as she tried to calm herself down after realizing that what she'd just said sounded more like something her mother would have said rather than her daughter, which made her feel all sorts of guilty because she knew her father hated being treated like a child by his own wife let alone his daughter whom he always thought of as an equal partner in marriage rather than a daughter and mother both rolled into one person who bore more responsibilities than anyone else around her whenever they were together but who showed clear signs in recent months that she needed help coping with them all by herself now that  her husband could hardly take care of himself anymore...

That's when everything went black around me as my eyes rolled back into my head and my whole body started shaking uncontrollably like someone had just plugged me into an electric socket without warning me first! And then everything went quiet again as everything disappeared altogether leaving only darkness behind me until suddenly everything came rushing back into focus again making me jump back in shock before falling down onto the ground entirely spent! My heart pounding wildly inside my chest so hard that I thought it would burst out of my ribcage any second now leaving only bloody pulp behind instead while my lungs desperately tried to suck air into them through barely opened lips but instead sucked nothing but dust particles which tasted strangely metallic in my mouth so that I began coughing violently making myself choke on those dust particles until I started wheezing so hard that tears streamed down my cheeks while I pumped my arms uselessly up and down while kicking my legs back and forth on their sides while frantically banging them against each other until finally I fell back onto my side completely exhausted while staring blankly ahead at nothingness wishing for death to come quickly now because surely this wasn't living...

But then everything went silent again leaving me wondering whether those moments before were real or not until suddenly I could hear voices calling out to me from somewhere far away...