Defying Ogiwato: Anaiis's Sarcasm as Faith

I had to admit that Ogiwato's bar was a good place for business. He didn't mind if you bought a drink and talked to him, and he would always mention to everyone in the area when something interesting was going on, like me being pregnant. I tried to avoid him while I was with Zulieq, but now we were split up, so I went there more often.

"Anaiis!" Ogiwato greeted cheerfully as I walked into his place. "I was wondering when you'd show up again." He had a big smile on his face. It made me feel a bit guilty about how things were between us.

I took a seat at the bar, one where I could watch the door in case Zulieq showed up and tried to drag me out by my hair or something. "You're looking lovely today," said Ogiwato. "I don't think I've ever seen you without that jacket before." I nodded politely and smiled back at him, getting my cigarettes out of my pocket.

"I haven't been feeling well lately," I explained. "It's great outside, but it makes me feel sicker than usual." I struck a match against the side of the box and lit my cigarette, taking a long drag before blowing out the match and putting it down next to my ashtray.

"If you're not feeling well," said Ogiwato, "you should take care of yourself. The last thing you want is to have to go through childbirth with someone helping you who has no idea what they're doing." His eyes glittered slightly as he said this, making me wonder if he had some experience with it himself. He seemed like an older man; maybe he did have kids?

Not wanting to delve too deeply into that thought train, I just shrugged. "It's fine," I told him. "I can handle it myself."

He frowned at that, looking slightly disappointed that I hadn't taken his advice seriously enough to heed it. "Well," he said finally, picking up a rag from beside him and wiping down the countertop in front of me. "Just remember that my offer stands if you need anything."

"Thank you," I said politely as he put the rag away and reclaimed his spot on the stool beside mine. We sat quietly for a moment while he smoked one of his own cigarettes and I took another puff off mine before speaking again. "So...how is life treating you?"

He shrugged nonchalantly before answering me: "It's fine." The way he said it suggested that it wasn't really fine at all (which wasn't surprising) but he was trying to pretend otherwise for some reason. Then again, given how many people actually pretended everything was fine when they knew it wasn't (myself included,) maybe he really was just fine with how things were going for him right now? There were more than enough people unwilling to change their lives for the better because they were afraid of what might happen if they did so anyway; maybe Ogiwato was one of them? If so, then it would be good for me to remind him that he could do better if he wanted to!

"I mean," I continued after taking another puff from my cigarette, "you seem like such an awesome guy; how could life possibly treat you badly?" Despite myself - or perhaps because of myself - I couldn't help smiling at him as if somehow we were friends; which we weren't even close to being! Still...maybe we could be? He certainly didn't seem opposed to being friends with me! Maybe spending time together would help us both open up to each other? That would be worth staying in this dump just for!